Holy Week 2016!!

We are nearing the end of Lent. I'm looking forward to ruining my diet again. LOL.
Seriously, it's been a good season of fasting. Not perfect but good.

So let me break down and get a little more personal than I usually do on blog. Because internet...there is no such thing as privacy.

This year has been a year of great blessings for me. I have a job and just got a promotion in the company. No longer do I work the awesome night shift, but once again return to the world of 9 -5 and two day weekends. Still poor but making it work.

This holy week I'll be blessed to see my parents physically for the first time in about 3 or 4 years. I may be 31, but I still need my mommy and daddy. I also get the pleasure of meeting my nephew for the first time before he turns 1. Still a baby and not a terrible toddler. :B For this little bumpkin, I learned how to sew stuffed animals...and then I became enthralled with the activity and started sewing for all my friends with children. (Even today Palm Sunday I'm going to a birthday party for a friend's child. I made a stuffed kitten. )

We also just had the feast of St. Joseph, one of the many Saints I should ask for more prayers. Seriously, I've been slacking on that front. I always had a group that I recited to before evening prayers.

Kind of been going through a weird patch of spiritual dryness that Lent didn't ease very much.
Still having trouble finishing books. Because when I'm home I'd rather be gaming or sewing. (Or sleeping after work wears me out.)

I'm also in a semi-emotional place where I'm in the singles rut but don't feel called to religious life. And this week I'm going to be with my baby nephew, married brother, and married friends. (I hope I don't 3rd wheel things.) I blame hormones a bit for this one.

I'm also considering starting a Catholic Gamer group for meet ups because I'm not going to meet like minded peeps on my own here. Also need to branch out beyond my clique here in Texas. It's be cool to have a convention group or something. :B

Wishing you all a Happy Holy Week and blessed Easter Season.

I Got a New Computer and a New View

Another personal experience that has oddly deepened my faith. All experiences can be ways God talks to us.

So I've been anticipating the release of Dragon Age Inquisition for many months. I pre-ordered a digital copy, downloaded it early and the moment it was unlocked to play I started it up.

Or I tried to. At first things were just slow so I figured it was just because of Origin. Then it just didn't load. After fiddling with settings and continually meeting the same black screen, I decided to google my issue. It took only a short time to realize that...yes...it was true. My machine was not powerful enough to run the game even on minimal requirements.

Now, in the months past I tried to avoid media about the game. I did look into the min requirements and I went out to get a newish computer and new monitor for it for about $400. However, it didn't quite cut it.

As you can imagine, I was very, very disappointed, but I hadn't given up hope yet. I found a website that would check my system specs against the game requirements to see what I was lacking. Alas, the RAM and Graphics card were not able to handle the game needs. And becasue of the computer model I got, I can't change out the graphics card.

But I have other computers so I tried to see if any of them could cut it. My 10 year old dell desktop had the graphic card power but did not have the CPU or the RAM or the operating system. My laptop was close. It lacked the RAM and graphics card as well.

So I went into a fury of research to solve my problem quickly.
At first I thought, I could just upgrade the parts of my 10 year old dell. I ordered a new OS and decided to go to the electronics store for lunch at work. It was then during more of my research and help from friends who build machines that well...my desktop although customizable could not handle a new cpu without a new motherboard. And the case could not take retail motherboards. So I thought, I would have to buy a new computer again!? The price tags of gaming computers are much higher than others. I didn't want to drop 1000 dollars to play this game.

Almost on a whim, but mostly salemanship, I decided to get a build. I customized my PC, got it assembled at the store and now I have a new custom PC...and it cost less than a gaming pc. :)

It's pink! :) I call her "Eevee".

Thinking about it now, I think this computer cost about the same as my current laptop so it was a good deal. However, I felt a weird guilt.

Over this game I was willing to drop a lot of money and make sacrifices to play. It felt a bit misdirected. Possibly because on Sunday we hear about the parable of the talents. The priest at the mass I went to also had a long (too long) homily on tithing. Oh yes, giving a percentage to God is what is demanded of us. But to someone working on an hourly wage, it takes a lot of faith. The priest had very good points that were hard to hear. So when I was so reluctant to give some of my wages for the Church, how could I turn around and give 90% of a paycheck to getting a computer.

It was a bit of an awakening. I live alone and may have fallen into the trap of selfishness.
But then I looked at it another way:
1) I have passion again. Which is something I haven't had in a long while it feels.
2) I reached out to friends and gave them an opportunity to offer their expertise.
3) I learned a lot about computer hardware.
4) I am impatient...and a bit impulsive. But I did do research first.
5) I brought God into many aspects of this. (I did end up tithing a bit to my parish this week. Because Catholic guilt works that way.)
6) I have two computers I want to give to someone else who may need it more than I. (Granted I can't donate them really after this big purchase.)

So my struggle with that homily and this big purchase for a single game has actually deepened my faith and relationship with God. I prayed last night after plugging everything in that this wasn't a bad thing. I might suffer for it, but I felt it was worth it. If I could do that for a game, I could certainly direct towards other things as well.

On the downside, I was brought to much frustration too. Working with technology is never easy. Nothing goes as planned. Another life lesson I guess/

Yoga and Faith

So my younger sister in abroad in India right now on a sort of mission trip. She's been checking out Buddhist temples and such. It reminds me of Yoga for some reason and how that relates to faith.

Yoga and I have not always gotten along. When I was in high school, I had a Yoga routine from a book that I practiced while listening to my Celtic Relaxation CD. I was getting pretty good. Also I was a teenager and probably a bit more flexible than I realized. Never could do the splits. It was a good way to relax after school and feel good.

In college, I took a class in Yoga with a large group. I was expecting it to be sort of like my home practice. However, it was not so relaxing. I could see other people and what they were doing. I could see myself in the wall mirrors. I kept attempting to correct my pose, obey the instructions and push myself farther. I felt I needed to keep up with other students and the instructor. I had very little endurance and often spent much of class in the Child's Pose ...or Turtle Pose I forget. I felt bad every time I had to do it.

I don't know how I did it but one day after yoga, my legs hurt so badly I couldn't walk. I took medication and skipped a yoga class before going back and telling the instructor what happened. You have to be careful in Yoga.

Many years later still, I moved to Austin and a friend invited me to Hot Room Yoga. It was very difficult. Even if the heat was suppose to make things a little easier...it didn't. Again, I mostly sat in Child's Pose in a pool of my own bodily fluids.

Now in many cases, a Yoga instructor also brings in some Eastern spirituality and tries to incorporate it into the class. Those who don't know better can fall into a kind of New Age philosophy. Myself on the other hand, never really listened to that part of the instruction. Yoga and other kinds of exercise was a form of prayer to me when I practiced alone. I could focus on what my body was doing, where I was and just sort of meditate. (Or in some cases, giving up suffering for souls in Purgatory or begging for strength from the Holy Spirit. :D)

Yoga practice usually talks about emptying yourself, but I was more about filling myself with the Holy Spirit.

One day in Yoga class, the instructor changed the music that we were listening to. The usual fare was Eastern Ohm chants, Native American Flute, or other Relaxation CD stuff. One day she played Gregorian Chant for our background music. I can't tell you how alive and easy Yoga was that day compared to all other classes. The chant was directing my thoughts towards holy contemplation and the humorous image of medieval friars in cobra position.

Point of this post? I don't know. Perhaps there's something to be gleaned. Have fun. :)