Holy Week 2016!!

We are nearing the end of Lent. I'm looking forward to ruining my diet again. LOL.
Seriously, it's been a good season of fasting. Not perfect but good.

So let me break down and get a little more personal than I usually do on blog. Because internet...there is no such thing as privacy.

This year has been a year of great blessings for me. I have a job and just got a promotion in the company. No longer do I work the awesome night shift, but once again return to the world of 9 -5 and two day weekends. Still poor but making it work.

This holy week I'll be blessed to see my parents physically for the first time in about 3 or 4 years. I may be 31, but I still need my mommy and daddy. I also get the pleasure of meeting my nephew for the first time before he turns 1. Still a baby and not a terrible toddler. :B For this little bumpkin, I learned how to sew stuffed animals...and then I became enthralled with the activity and started sewing for all my friends with children. (Even today Palm Sunday I'm going to a birthday party for a friend's child. I made a stuffed kitten. )

We also just had the feast of St. Joseph, one of the many Saints I should ask for more prayers. Seriously, I've been slacking on that front. I always had a group that I recited to before evening prayers.

Kind of been going through a weird patch of spiritual dryness that Lent didn't ease very much.
Still having trouble finishing books. Because when I'm home I'd rather be gaming or sewing. (Or sleeping after work wears me out.)

I'm also in a semi-emotional place where I'm in the singles rut but don't feel called to religious life. And this week I'm going to be with my baby nephew, married brother, and married friends. (I hope I don't 3rd wheel things.) I blame hormones a bit for this one.

I'm also considering starting a Catholic Gamer group for meet ups because I'm not going to meet like minded peeps on my own here. Also need to branch out beyond my clique here in Texas. It's be cool to have a convention group or something. :B

Wishing you all a Happy Holy Week and blessed Easter Season.

Dragon Age Inquisition Part 3

Okay I did make it through some more of the story. A couple of themes came up:

Religion and Faith ( a big theme)
Homosexuality (another theme throughout the games)

So spoilers a bit here, at one point you meet with an openly gay mage as a companion. In a side-quest you can trick him into meeting with his father whom he was estranged from for years. It mirrored a lot of common modern reactions to a child coming out. It was very humanizing and illustrated the struggle of parent trying to reconcile with an older child. Also both being stubborn about things. It definitely was better handled than in Dragon Age II. Clearly this was planned out better.

In one of the random codex things you can find scattered throughout the game one was titled "Sexuality in Thedas". This one of the few codex entries I actually read read and I was saddened to see how well it reflects a common misconception: Sexuality is Separate from Procreation. One is just a taste, for fun or preference and the other a duty. ...See this is why you get plagues and blights Thedas. Seriously...sex...makes...babies. Fact of life. And it's not terrible. Also marriage not terrible.

Sooo...now for religion stuff. There's a LOT of it in this one. This is one of the few games that lets you play as a religious character without it coming off as too pandering or negative. I've gotten to a point in the game where it was revealed how the Inquisitor got the "mark". Throughout the beginning of the game, lots of people seem to believe it was a gift from God (I hate that they call him the Maker. Blegh...so generic.) or the religious prominent prophet. But surprise, surprise, the Mark is from a happy accident. Well, not that happy. This throws some characters into a situation where they could think "Wow...I've been LYING to people saying I got this mark from Andraste."

But they have SMART religious characters. If you have Faith you can believe that God works in the world and allowed it to happen. If you don't, nothing changes. Religion and Faith are themes I feel are handled well in this series. They do a good job humanizing characters even "religious" ones.

The main "church" of the world isn't the only one on the chopping block either. My main play through is with an Elf character who comes from a background that has a completely different belief system. (Which was uncomfortable for her to be called chosen by the main religion's prophet.) But there was a big twist (which I won't reveal) about one of the Elven gods.

Reforming the main Church was also a big thing. The player gets to "choose" or "influence the clerics" on who to choose for the next Divine. This particular Church comes off as a bit more political than spiritual but that would make the game less fun not to choose the next leader of the main faith of the world. (Although personally, I'd probably be part of the Black Chantry that's lead by a male Divine...just sayin'.)

The role of this Chantry is also pretty well...earth centric. It has the common criticism of building elaborate cathedrals and dresses instead of feeding the poor. Huh...where have I heard this criticism before? Sounds so familiar! -__-

Anyway, I'm very, very close to finishing my first play through of the game. :D

I Got a New Computer and a New View

Another personal experience that has oddly deepened my faith. All experiences can be ways God talks to us.

So I've been anticipating the release of Dragon Age Inquisition for many months. I pre-ordered a digital copy, downloaded it early and the moment it was unlocked to play I started it up.

Or I tried to. At first things were just slow so I figured it was just because of Origin. Then it just didn't load. After fiddling with settings and continually meeting the same black screen, I decided to google my issue. It took only a short time to realize that...yes...it was true. My machine was not powerful enough to run the game even on minimal requirements.

Now, in the months past I tried to avoid media about the game. I did look into the min requirements and I went out to get a newish computer and new monitor for it for about $400. However, it didn't quite cut it.

As you can imagine, I was very, very disappointed, but I hadn't given up hope yet. I found a website that would check my system specs against the game requirements to see what I was lacking. Alas, the RAM and Graphics card were not able to handle the game needs. And becasue of the computer model I got, I can't change out the graphics card.

But I have other computers so I tried to see if any of them could cut it. My 10 year old dell desktop had the graphic card power but did not have the CPU or the RAM or the operating system. My laptop was close. It lacked the RAM and graphics card as well.

So I went into a fury of research to solve my problem quickly.
At first I thought, I could just upgrade the parts of my 10 year old dell. I ordered a new OS and decided to go to the electronics store for lunch at work. It was then during more of my research and help from friends who build machines that well...my desktop although customizable could not handle a new cpu without a new motherboard. And the case could not take retail motherboards. So I thought, I would have to buy a new computer again!? The price tags of gaming computers are much higher than others. I didn't want to drop 1000 dollars to play this game.

Almost on a whim, but mostly salemanship, I decided to get a build. I customized my PC, got it assembled at the store and now I have a new custom PC...and it cost less than a gaming pc. :)

It's pink! :) I call her "Eevee".

Thinking about it now, I think this computer cost about the same as my current laptop so it was a good deal. However, I felt a weird guilt.

Over this game I was willing to drop a lot of money and make sacrifices to play. It felt a bit misdirected. Possibly because on Sunday we hear about the parable of the talents. The priest at the mass I went to also had a long (too long) homily on tithing. Oh yes, giving a percentage to God is what is demanded of us. But to someone working on an hourly wage, it takes a lot of faith. The priest had very good points that were hard to hear. So when I was so reluctant to give some of my wages for the Church, how could I turn around and give 90% of a paycheck to getting a computer.

It was a bit of an awakening. I live alone and may have fallen into the trap of selfishness.
But then I looked at it another way:
1) I have passion again. Which is something I haven't had in a long while it feels.
2) I reached out to friends and gave them an opportunity to offer their expertise.
3) I learned a lot about computer hardware.
4) I am impatient...and a bit impulsive. But I did do research first.
5) I brought God into many aspects of this. (I did end up tithing a bit to my parish this week. Because Catholic guilt works that way.)
6) I have two computers I want to give to someone else who may need it more than I. (Granted I can't donate them really after this big purchase.)

So my struggle with that homily and this big purchase for a single game has actually deepened my faith and relationship with God. I prayed last night after plugging everything in that this wasn't a bad thing. I might suffer for it, but I felt it was worth it. If I could do that for a game, I could certainly direct towards other things as well.

On the downside, I was brought to much frustration too. Working with technology is never easy. Nothing goes as planned. Another life lesson I guess/

God's Box

Usually I'm not that inspired to write about something that is purely Catholic spiritual and then publish it, but today is different. While browsing my deviantart messages I noticed a snippet of someone's journal. The artist was describing why he was doing a somewhat controversial photoshoot of attractive, scantily clad men around religious icons, mostly having to do with the Crucifixion. The subject matter had to do a bit with the artists faith and his own struggles as a homosexual man.

However, the subject matter of the photo shoot was not what sparked my interest, it was a sentence (which I will paraphrase) that caught my attention and made me feel a strong opinion.
The phrase was: "Whether in a Church, mosque or synagog, no matter how beautiful the interior may be, I never understood why God should be trapped in a box."

Part of the idea I totally agree with. God should not ONLY BE within a church building. He must be out in the world among us all and within us. Like the kid's song, "This little light of mine" we should be Christ's light to the world shining on the hill, not under a bush.

More commonly though, I think the sentiment comes from a place where a person may not feel that they "need" to go to Church to pray or go to Confession when they can pray wherever. And yes, you don't need to go to a Church to talk to God. Despite it being called the House of God, that's not the only place God can be found. When first reading the words, I felt a bit upset that someone would think that a Church building was a sort of cage for God. (I'm sure that's not the intent, but that's what it came off as to me.)

I've heard it explained once or twice why a church building is so important and it's a concept I feel is being lost. The idea of a sacred space that is separated from the mundane. This is why I feel it's important to have beautiful art within a church. The Church is not like any other building. Not only is it sacred, God becomes truly present within the walls. Not that Creation is not beautiful and noble. There are places in Nature that are also sacred. These are mundane places that are uplifted.

The sacred space is not for God, it's for us. Outside the Sacred Space, we are confronted with life's mundane struggles, harsh realities, and heavy burden. With all the distractions of daily life, even prayer can be difficult and unfocused. The conversation with God is limited. Thus it's a good practice to have a little sacred space for prayer in your home/apartment. It makes it a little easier for us to meet God and find him.

Sacraments, Sacramentals, and Churches, God knows we need these physical things to know Him better. It's a bit sad to dismiss things as such.

That's all I really have to say on that for now. Like I said, a bit of a reaction. I did start brainstorming the game idea. It's going to be tougher than I thought.

Introversion, Catholics and St. Joseph

This past Sunday, I had a mini-crisis of faith. I judged myself harshly and thought that God was probably angry at me.

I consider myself well educated in my faith and I continue to study, learn and grow. However, I know I can be wrong very often because organizing my thoughts takes a good deal of time and I want to look up teachings to be sure I'm not preaching heresy. 

On Sunday, we had a gathering of many small Christian groups for a brunch and reflection. The food was great but I sat near people that were familiar to me. We ate, socialized and then started the meeting. We broke off into groups where we were forced to sit with people that were not from our group. Naturally, this breaking out of the comfort zone was uncomfortable. We re-read the gospel reading where Jesus' command was to love others as He loves us. 

There were two reflection questions that we were discuss:

1) How does God relate His love to You? And how do you Relate that love to others.

2) Who demonstrates this love of God to you?

The first question really gave me a start and I started to think very hard. My thought process was: 

What did this question even mean? What is it really asking? Do I talk about what God has done for me or about his presence? This is kind of a personal question. Sometimes I'm an irrational being that believes God DOESN'T love me. (like I said, irrational...and even in my irrational thought I'm aware I'm being irrational. It just can't be stopped.) Is this about feelings? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS QUESTION!!! 

All the while other people in my small group are talking. An outgoing, chatty young woman answered almost immediately, while I was still mulling the question in my head. She began speaking on how much she felt God's love through the Eucharist and the self-sacrifice which she tried to show others. Which affected my thought flow.

Thought flow: Sacraments, why didn't I think of that? Duh, this should be an easy question to answer if these individuals are so quick to answer. It's so obvious to them! Why is this so difficult for me? I've studied my faith for years and I pray to God constantly. By the way God, this question is really confusing. I know there's not an obvious right/wrong answer but I'm feeling under pressure here. 

More people talk and share how they volunteer and share God's good news with others. How they work with their family and children who have bi-polar problems. (The day before I partook in a chaplet of Divine Mercy on the radio where intentions were offered for a woman with bi-polar and other mental problems.) Now the social pressure is mounting. Part of me felt like I had to show that I was JUST as Catholic as these folks. Except I don't have a family of my own and my relatives live thousands of miles away. I also don't volunteer because I don't have the time in my situation. (Single, live alone, supporting myself in a competitive industry limits my volunteer time to weekends only or some evenings.) So now I'm starting feel like an inadequate Catholic because I don't volunteer, I don't go to CRHP retreats (I did once, but it only convinced me never to go on a group retreat again), I don't go to daily mass or participate in many ministries (due to me living 20 minutes from my Church on a day with no traffic), I don't teach, etc. My mind was directed on what I DO NOT DO. (Which was also a trap I fell into when Unemployed.) 

Eventually I was given a chance to speak. My mind was already a torrent of social inadequacy and still trying to figure out how I show God's love and how He shows His love for me. 

"I...I have to admit I have a hard time putting thoughts to words. Especially about something like this."

I got some encouraging coos and a few prompts to open up, but I ended up diverting the topic to the next question. Almost immediately after I had said these words, my little self-esteem demon started accusing me. "How could you not answer this question? It's so obvious! It's so obvious God loves you! He's shown you countless times and now that you're asked to share with people of your OWN FAITH you can't! What kind of Catholic are you? How are you helping the Church at all? You're so selfish!"

The second answer was simpler for me. Everyone said "My mother, mother's are naturally self-sacrificing." It was here I proudly brought up my Father who not only taught me my faith but lived it. He knew he wanted to help people with his job. He became a doctor over a priest. He worked LONG hours, gave some of his time to a charity clinic, still had time and patience for us. Never complained. Never raised his voice to us. Took good care of his mother when she was in her last years (she passed away this past March.) I found myself kind of rambling on and on about my father's virtues.

Someone complimented about how articulate I was. 

For a moment there I kind of realized that perhaps because of how I worded my previous answer, they thought I was slow or handicapped somehow. 

After the whole meeting, I went home feeling incredibly guilty and inadequate as a Catholic. I couldn't preach a gospel and I didn't work with social justice even though I know its good. Even my former comfort of BEING and not DOING wasn't helping. What I do flows from who I be. All I could see was me being selfish with the love God gave me. 

The question haunted me for a few days. Only today as I began writing this have I come to realize what ACTUALLY happened was not a weakness of faith or even what God commands. So powerful was this shame (because this is not the first time it has happened). Every time I'm put on the spot to share what I believe, I choke up and end up blurting out something to to get it off me. 

Today, while browsing facebook there was some article posted about introverts. It reminded me of the YouTube video of QUIET based on the book by Susan Cain. Which I rewatched and that lead me to read a few more articles on introverts in Church. 

I've known for a long time that I am an introvert, but it still surprises me when these Church things come up and end up hurting my faith instead of building it up...you know like how Church is supposed to. It took me 2 days thinking about that question to really come up with an answer. 

I talk to God in prayer all the time. Good, bad, mundane, or exciting, we're talking. Of course I also take time at the end of every day for formal prayer time before bed and read some Scripture. I've been doing this prayer time since I was a child. As for how I show this love, I pray for others (the ministry I am involved in prays the rosary at funeral wakes), with others and reflect. I am a person of prayer, mostly contemplative prayer and sometimes randomly bursting into song. I took time to think of quiet Saints like today's feast of St. Joseph!! 

Here is a saint that doesn't say a word in Scripture. I don't think volunteering was a thing back in the day, nor was sharing the Gospel (at least not in the evangelical sense). He worked to support his family, followed the laws of his faith, obeyed God even when it was hard. 

Also thought about St. Terese the Little Flower and St. Monica. All were contemplative. (And focused on helping their families and immediate neighbors.)

So there is stock in understanding one's personality traits. It's not that I'm stupid or lazy, but I'm working against my very nature. Many introverts struggle with this problem and being called to Evangelize terrifies the Holy Ghost out of me. (Sometimes I think I'm clever...:B) 

Anyway, this was definitely a more personal post, but there is some stock I think in understanding introverts in an extrovert culture. I'm definitely going to look into it deeper. 

Games with Sexual Content

So I'm back again to talk about sexual content in video games. One of the biggest hurdles facing the industry is not only the issue of gratuitous violence but the objectification of people and what I like to call sexploitation. This is not going to be a gender discussion, but a general overlook of sexual content in games.

Excuses, Excuses
Some of the common defenses for including sexual content in the gaming medium that I have comes across are as follows:
1) It's not real, it's virtual.
2) It's not really hurting anyone.
3) It's not any worse than movies or TV
4) It's an outlet so they don't do this in real life
etc etc ad nauseum.

My rule of thumb for content, if you have to make an excuse for something, that means there is something wrong somewhere. It is either the perception that is wrong or the content is straight up wrong and you don't want to admit it.

Being wrong is not a great feeling. Guilt is not fun. (*Insert stereotypical Catholic guilt joke).

Now there's probably more excuses out there, but I'm going to focus on the four above.

Virtual Reality
I've seen this line of reasoning to validate anything that is drawn or CG sexual content. From cartoons to cutscenes, the fact of the matter is that in a sense these "people" are not real. It's a drawing or pixels. These are objects. So what is wrong with that?

Art represents something. You do not see it as a random collection of lines and dots, but a form that is familiar. A drawing of a human can not be mistaken for a drawing of an apple. It is symbolic and holds meaning to our mind. The person is not real, true. The symbol however is real.

What's the big deal about symbols and symbolism? Associated meaning is one thing that stands out. Symbols can be powerful tools to motivate or readily associate with a group. A red flag with a black swastika on a white circle is immediately associated with Nazi Germany of World War II. The symbol still reminds us of that group and what they did.

Reducing someone or something to a symbol, as is often done in propaganda, can be used to dehumanize a group or individual. While characters and avatars are not real, their symbolism and meaning is real.

No One's Getting Hurt
One 3D model shooting another is not murder. However, as I mentioned in the previous section, it carries meaning and symbolism. The harm may not be happening to actors, but that does not disqualify the harm it causes the viewer. What applies to live action pornography applies to artistic renditions as well.

There are many studies that look at the effects of prolonged viewing of pornography on family and individual levels. So it may be that the viewer is hurting themselves.

As the Church teaches, it is sinful, and the Church in her wisdom says this because it does harm to the soul and can weaken the will.

Other Media is Similar
This should not matter. Comics, TV, and film are all over saturated. This is merely the "mob" mentality that because "everyone is doing it so too can I." As history has shown, many people can be morally wrong while a minority is morally correct.

The Digital Outlet
Virtual worlds provide a "safe-space" to experiment with anti-social behavior without the same repercussions. This does not really address the core of the problem, which is this individual has a misguided sense of propriety or possibly a disorder. Viewing such material may cure a symptom, but not the root cause of the problem.

This line of thinking poses that the troubled person can either perform it on a virtual person or a real person. Naturally we would think that the lesser of the two evils, the virtual crime, is better than someone actually doing the crime. But that's just it. Narrowing the focus to two alternatives is not the reality of the situation. Most people can agree that a person who molests a child is disturbed in some way. It's a bit of a stretch to say that for that person, playing a game that portrays sexual content with young looking characters is somehow preventing that person from committing the real crime.

Perhaps it's just me but I don't see it as therapeutic.

Art vs. Porn
Granted not all nudity is sexual. It is an unfortunate sign of our times. The human body is sexual and beautiful. It is only in our current times where a naked body is seen immediately as erotic and shameful. (Thanks sexual revolution.)

I've not come across a game in which a sex scene was for anything but gratuity. (Same could be said for any film, comic and TV series). Same could be said for nudity. There's a difference between Michelangelo's David and say the recent DMC's Dante. And again, much of the "problem" might be our cultural Puritan tendencies or perception.
The blog Bad Catholic really does a great job illustrating the issue in this post. (I'm a lazy writer. :B ) The gist is that the culture of our generation sees the naked body ONLY as an erotic object. Even looking at Michelangelo's David might be considered erotic.

I would say that a majority of the time nudity is featured in a game, it is for titillation. It is turning the body into an object to SELL the game to you. I've only seen a handful of games in which showering was normal. (And that's mostly the Sims titles.)

What about Softcore/Suggestive Content? 
This is one of the things that absolutely boggles my mind. There is a scale on how extreme a particular medium's sexual content can be.

Softcore is what you often get in a major movie and in a few video game titles (Heavy Rain comes to mind), it portrays nudity or partial nudity and the act itself without exposing genitals. It's often a loving relationship and consensual. So what could be wrong about that? It still removes intimacy of the act for the sake of titillation.

Suggestive sexual content is presented as an abstract or simply does a before/after cut. I want to say that this kind of a grey area especially. For example, the Sims franchise "whoohoo" turns into shuffling around under covers and a cartoonishly bouncing bed. This is an abstraction that never involves full nudity. It seems harmless, but that does not mean it's any less disrespectful.
However, before/after cuts I find to be at least more respectful a suggestion than softcore porn. Usually because those parts are mostly conversation and may be plot moving/character development.
This was the big difference between Mass Effect 1 to Mass Effect 2 as well as Dragon Age Origins to Dragon Age 2. In the first part of these franchise games, sex scenes were soft porn. In the subsequent games, the romance scenes are heavily suggested with kissing and a fade to black only to come back to the couple lightly clad and talking.

Conclusion for now
Sex is NOT evil and something to be regarded with disgust or aversion. Many of us do because our upbringing may have taught us to react in a very binary fashion of you either do it or you don't. If you do, you should feel ashamed. If you don't, you have some kind of repression problem. The Church teaches that intercourse is sacred. Very, very very special. So special in fact that you have to have a sacrament to seal the union. That is what sexuality is: self-giving. However, most depictions of sex in media is self-pleasing.

At most, I feel suggestive content in games can be done respectfully and not tempt. However, games favor the soft porn or explicit content in most M rated titles. As a Catholic, we have to consider our souls and wills when playing such titles.

A Conflict of Interests

I was going to (and still will) post a personal whiny blog post about my personal struggle to find others who both share my faith and share my passion/hobby. 
Of course with the internet, it's kind of easy to find such people. I've linked a new website I stumbled upon http://catholicgamer.com  (I guess I can't buy that domain name.). The blogs are definitely better written than mine and there are some very cool game suggestions for my fellow Catholic gamers. 

Polarized Opposites

So, I enjoy geeky things. I like going to conventions. I'm getting more and more interested in cosplay. I play video games and make them in my spare time. I draw my own web-comic. I could prattle on about Narnia and Lord of the Rings and Dragon Age for hours if given the chance. 
And most of all I love sharing and participating in group geek activities. However, I always felt that there was a part of me that was not always accepted. I'm Catholic and a pretty orthodox one at that. I love my faith as much or more than my hobbies. 

It's not really something that I will bring up at a convention. I am not out to evangelize when I attend conventions or participate in my hobbies. That would be something that would almost immediately get me "kicked out of the club". I don't preach on soap boxes, because that's not my style. However, I feel very lonely on a Sunday during a convention weekend as I go to Mass without friends. 

However, on the flip side when  hanging out with my Catholic female friends, we can talk all about the Church and relationships and gossip for hours. One is sort of an anime fan and one sometimes plays games with her husband. 

To have all parts of our person accepted by a group of friends can be tough when one's interests are niche or appeal more to men. 

Why the Two Sides?

I've written before about some of the possible reasons for anti-Christian attitudes in geek culture. Now I'd like to explore the other side of the coin. What is it about Catholicism or Christianity that doesn't like geek culture. 
1.) I find that the Catholic Church is notoriously slow with adapting to much of the newer technology of our every day life. This starts to cripple the Church in evangelization and education.  Hopefully, the New Evangelization will help in these efforts.

2.) Geek culture openly rejects religions and the Church will not force itself where it is not welcomed culturally. That is to say if no one is receptive we "shake the dust of the town from our sandels and move on."  

3.) Lots and Lots of rampant sin or methods of weakening the will can be found in geek culture. From pin-up comic girls to violence to hentai, there is plenty that the Church and good Christians should turn away from. To be honest a large chunk of geek culture is focused on sin. It glorifies lust, revenge, and unhealthy obsession. 

Popularity Contest Loser

As with any hobby there is potential for great good and great evil. At the same time, the heart of Christianity is not to be the most popular religion on the planet. The scope of eternity matters to the Christian faith and our own relationship with God. We are called to live life in holiness which means to be "set apart". 
Geek culture and gaming have helped me better understand who I am, to love myself and actually draw closer to Jesus. This is why at least for myself I can reconcile this apparent paradox of interests. 

Growing up, I went to a Catholic middle school. I was unfortunately stuck with a rather rotten bunch of classmates. I was teased, shunned and well, generally I was odd. Slow to mature physically and socially, I was at a disadvantage. I was very artistic, very interested in my own religion (which some Catholic students were not, surprise surprise) and interested in odd things...like science. The internet was one of the first places that taught me that I was not alone in my interests.

So you could say, in a sense, that my enjoyment of geek culture is because like most geeks I was "bullied". I felt accepted for the most part...except that one obnoxiously obvious religious part of me. But I was more accepted in Geek culture than in any Catholic Youth Group. 

And that's all I'm going to write about that. This was helpful to me at least and hopefully to someone else. I know I'm not alone in this paradox, but geez oh pete why are we so darn quiet? 

Public Enemy: Video Games

As someone who enjoys playing video games, it becomes frustrating when Youth Group Leaders, Ministers or very intelligent Catholics condemn the hobby. Naturally we feel defensive because it feels like they get their information straight from TV news which has been anti-video games for a long time.

So let's talk about games and why they are so unpopular with a Christian life style. There are three common arguments used to condemn video games: violence, addiction, and controversy.

Must it all end with Violence?
The fact that video games are violent is a true statement. A large percentage of game titles are about using violence or murder to solve a problem. There are whole genres dedicated to this style of game.
There is concern that being exposed to so much violence it desensitizes the player towards real violence and other people.

Studies on the subject of games and violence remain vague on the causality issue. It is not a simple A causes B.  There are many mediums in which we expose ourselves to depictions of violence including news, movies, comics, and television. A vicious cycle has been in motion for quite some time. Culture influences media as much as media influences culture.

Granted this IS a big issue in games that needs to be addressed. Having such a large percentage of games being shooters, hack/slash, or beat 'em up type games reaffirms the idea that ALL games are violent, with the exception of "games for kids" which may be non-violent. It'd be nice if games were a bit more like Deus Ex: Human Revolutions where there is a "non-lethal" route to take. Or a game like Mirror's Edge where the protagonist can not defend herself except by running and jumping.




A-A-Addiction
From the game designer chair, getting the player "lost in flow" is the pinnacle of good game design principles. This has become a double edged sword for games as an activity. There are reports of people dying at their computer or showing symptoms similar to any addict.

However, this is a bit overblown in reports and all the attention is very negative. Because gaming is still seen as socially unacceptable as a practice except for children.
I would like to direct you to two very well written articles on the subject of addictions to MMOs which is the most commonly addictive game type:
The Trouble with Addiction
Understanding and Dealing with Gaming Problems: A Q&A with a Therapist

  "As with other activities in life, it starts to become clear that moderation is key. Online games can be therapeutic and enabling when engaged with in moderation, but can become disabling when someone plays too much. While seemingly obvious once laid out, this sensibility is oftentimes missing when the issue is presented by the media or anti-game proponents. A complicated “both-and” issue becomes mangled into a far more simplistic “either-or” / “good vs. evil” issue."
(Nick Yee, "The Trouble with Addiction" 2006)

This problematic gaming issue comes up a lot in my conversations. There is nothing that upsets me as a gamer more than someone telling me about a news story about someone who died at their computer while playing a game. This marginalizes me as someone who enjoys the hobby but plays with moderation. This incident does not put ALL gamers at risk for spontaneously dropping dead with controller in hand.

All that said, I do not deny the fact that there are people with problematic playing behaviors. The ones that show up in the news and used to villainize gaming.
"Unfortunately many people, particularly those prone to compulsive behaviors, are not highly self-aware and have a hard time reflecting upon and regulating their own behavior. Children are not able to do this, which is why they have parents who regulate them. Adolescents do it sketchily. Adults vary according to many complex factors."
(Nick Yee, "Understanding and Dealing with Gaming Problems", 2006)

I know for me my parents were good at regulating our play time with gaming systems, TV watching and computers. Self-discipline is the important factor in combating the potential of what could be dangerous behavior.

Too Sexy for my Shirt
The perceived maturity level of developers is actually fairly accurate in many companies. Dealing with complex issues like relationships does not come easily in game story telling. So, the game industry is incredibly competitive and cut throat. With the current business model they have to be. And it all comes down to sales and consumers.

See in film and other media avenues, they don't suffer financially if someone buys a used DVD or watches it "for free" online. Pirating movies and TV, while still active, have become less and less of a problem for the industry thanks to the many avenues of legal distribution now available. Movie in particular have several avenues for making money back and profit from theatrical releases AND DVD sales.

For a game company, they only make money back on a project from every new game purchased. Consumer expectations are set at a certain level and the economy makes them much more careful about choosing which game to buy for $60. Used game stores like Gamestop take advantage of this by profiting off of the sale of used games. The developers don't see any income from the sale of used games. Pirating is a bigger problem for games. And here's where the controversy comes in.

The cost of game development for AAA titles is about the same as a Hollywood film. It's in the millions. In terms of game design, things are average at best. So many companies have adopted the tactic of banking on gaming's negative image as a selling point. Stirring the controversy pot is going to make sales. Gratuitous gore, nudity, violence and sex all mean sales to the "core demographic" and getting the news to talk about the game. Free advertising.

This is something that the industry is struggling with. It's easier to make a mediocre game and then market the controversial nature of the title than to make something innovative and good.

However, this is why the Independent game companies and "Casual" game companies are starting to see some growth. The core demographic is tired of average game design and quirky/creative titles are starting to gain more recognition. Such as..grumblegrumblangrybirdsgrumple*, Journey, and Limbo.

This is a legitimate problem in game development that hopefully the industry will grow out of. Because the more they use the controversy pot, the less chance the medium has at being viewed as a legitimate ART FORM like film or comics (to a much lesser extent).
http://penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/facing-controversy
(This short video presentation discusses this topic very well.)

Can I be a Catholic Gamer?
 PLEASE DO! I think it is INCREDIBLY important to start playing LIKE a Catholic (or Christian). As I've been reading some of Matthew Kelly lately (I hope to review the book on this blog in a few weeks), it is important to remember our faith should be a lifestyle. Can video games be a part of that lifestyle?
Well, movies, comics, music and TV certainly have become a part I don't see why games should be any different. But it is incredibly important to remember that the games you play will reflect on you. Just as the movies you enjoy and books you read reflect on you. Owning well know controversial titles is probably NOT the best reflection. It suggests all the negative ire associated with the negative view of gamers in general. It also suggests that you are ONLY practicing your faith in certain areas of your life instead of ALL.

Please be reassured that not all game titles rated are evil. There is a wide array of titles that may include "mature" themes that are worth playing. (Granted, I always tend to approach M-rated games with extreme prejudice.) Purchase with conscience is recommended.
Playing with moderation is important. In various stages of life, long hours of gaming will be less and less frequent.

Conclusion
There is unfortunately merit to the things video games are accused of. Some of it is media propaganda making mountains out of molehills, but there is a good portion of gaming that needs to be changed. Gaming is more social than ever before and hopefully someday will be less of a social stigma.

Battle of the Sexes

There's a Women's Issue in Gaming! (Note: Some of these links may not be work safe).
 On many gaming news websites, it is bound to come up. There is bound to be some commentary on the inequality and abuse of women in games and the gaming community. Women are considered an outside other or toy or generally made to feel unwelcome. Online reactions (and in some cases real life conversations) end up in a HOSTILE confrontation between the differing opinions. (Most reactions are summarized well by Dr. Nerdlove.)

Okay, we get it, there's a definite inequality going on here that favors men. We also get that there is something wrong about it. However, both parties continue to be worked up about it and very little progress is made. Now I will not go through and try to debunk every argument brought to the table on this issue (Dr. Nerdlove's article does so nicely.) However, I'm going to try to understand where the friction lies, why the reactions are so volatile, and tie it in with Catholic Theology. (Because that's how I roll.)

The Friction
 The conflict probably starts at the beginning with Original Sin. This opposition of men and women is a product of our sinful nature so there will be friction between us. Luckily there is grace but only if our hearts are open and willing. There are things that make it difficult for BOTH sides to really be forgiving or open to grace. I'll take only one sample from each side. 

  Straw Feminist/Extreme Feminists
   I wrote about feminism once. There are some problems with the feminist movement that have hurt our society rather than helped women. Some of the media tactics aim to belittle men, guilt men, or emasculate men. These make men out to be the enemy...the evil tyrant to be overthrown.
...
In any case this certainly causes friction between the two parties. However, NOT ALL FEMINISTS DO THIS. Most feminists I know work quietly and educate misinformed parties on a one-on-one basis. Feminists are also men, as Jesus himself is often viewed as one of the most feminist men in history. Feminism is not meant to take power away from men and give it to women so that the roles are reversed. Feminism is MEANT to empower women to be women...to be a person and a creation of God.
I forget where I read it, but somewhere I read that "the morality of women is historically what standardized morality for society." However that's not to point the finger of blame. (The first reaction of our parents...SHE MADE ME DO IT!)

  Man Child Culture
Perhaps this trend is a result of the wrong way the feminist movement went. Or perhaps it is the nature of work/providing for the family has changed so that physical strength is not a necessity. (Helloooo office work.) I don't have the research or background to really analyze it but if I was to point to the source I'd merely point to our fallen nature. (It's that nice catch all.) So, we have a generation of men and women that are maturing slower in some areas but too fast in others. In the past there was a clear distinction (and fun rituals) for becoming an adult in society. This in between "teen" stage where you're not yet an adult but not really a child leads to some confusion. Some of my friends still reason and think like they did in high school.
High school was a time I remember being fueled by lots of emotion, passion and feelings instead of rational thought and reflection. And it was a fun time. I did not have the responsibility of an adult like bills or work. I could enjoy all the fun stuff of childhood but still be treated like an adult.
Much of my philosophy was based on what I "felt" was right. Many people still do this and its difficult to reason with them. I think I was lucky and was often in the 'wrong' as a teen so I got to learn what was right. I learned to look at data, evidence and back up my arguments. (Granted, "experience" still makes a large portion of my argument but hey, it works to an extent.)

Anyway, the whole point of this part was to clarify that because masculinity seems to have changed in our minds, then extremes are taken instead of the middle ground. You know the rational path? Or that little part in your brain that makes you question your beliefs or admit you are wrong? (Hint: It's called humility.Hmm I should probably get some more of that.)

Solutions that are not solutions
 There's a problem. So what is the answer? Some things that I've seen offered as solutions either are more damaging or like a band-aide for a cold. One of the repeat offenders is the over use of sexploitation of women characters in games and comics to market the product. So obviously the answer is...
- Equal Sexploitation -
While it works for humor purposes, there is all kinds of wrong. This is reinforcing the sin of objectifying the human body. Yes, its true they are only drawings or 3D models. True they are only characters with no real feelings and are (in a sense) things not people. I think the heart of the issue lies in what characters represent and what art is. That may be for another blog post. For now let's just say that having revealing armor for both characters is not the answer. 

- Women Only Space
 This would be that there are games "for women/girls" and games for men. This is kind of like there being a segregated space in a place that should be for everyone. Now there ARE places and situations where it is indeed better and healthier for it not to be co-ed. (Public Bathrooms come to mind but I know not everyone believes this.)  However something like entertainment usually held in the privacy of one's home and in public spaces, there really is no "men only" space. It's imaginative. Which is quite powerful as imagination does not always have reason to control it. I think this solution fits under the banner of "get back to the kitchen."
 HOWEVER, there are special groups of women only gaming sessions which I think is a pretty neat idea. (Probably because I feel there's a disconnect between me a gaming woman and my other female friends who do not play games frequently.)

- Role Reversal
Now this is an interesting idea but in practice does not work. Having the princess save the prince CAN work as a plot line but...I think this student animation kind of illustrates where things can go wrong.  (Thus the comedic value.) Video games often play as an empowering fantasy. Not all players do this but some project their desires onto a character doing fantastic things. (Role Play as it were.)
This is NOT to say that female game characters can't be knights, captains or soldiers out to save the day. The point is that the role of a character should not be limited or defined by the gender. (For example, in many JRPG titles only female characters hold the position as a "healer" and never use swords. There is a cultural thing about this which is interesting but that'd be a tangent.) 

Theology of the Body
Now I'd hardly call myself an expert or even well versed in TOB. I've only had a couple intro classes and kind of tuned the rest out as re-hashed chastity talks that I've had barked at me since middle school. That said, I will be a student of ToB for a long time but I've got the GIST of what it's all about. It's about the truth of our sex. And the truth is God created us male and female for a purpose. We would compliment each other, but still both be ultimately human.

 For us without the benefit of seeing beyond the Veil of the Flesh can have difficulty understanding this simple truth and amazing gift.
So are there things that can only be enjoyed by men? I'm sure there are many that have a higher interest for males but that should not exclude the fact that it is not an exclusive activity. Video games are one of those activities that have a higher appeal to men on the surface but looking at earlier games we can see that in actuality, there was no gender bias.


Solutions?
Is there a solution? I like to believe so. I spent two years steeped in research detailing the differences between men and women in their approach to computers, games and STEM subjects (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics.) Some of the best solutions are about Gender Equity. Some companies do better than others in this respect.

 - Nintendo Japan: Systems marketed as FAMILY systems meaning men and women of multiple ages. This has been Nintendo's model for years, because they were primarily a toy company. They are smart in targeting such a general audience and for the longest time only offering limited 3rd party games on their system. (However, as of this past E3, Nintendo seems to be opening its door to more 3rd party developers.)

  - Mobile Gaming: This platform really does target as many demographics as it can thanks to its cut-throat competitive market. (It's tough...I know...my company didn't survive. :( ) Games are smaller and usually more abstract but it does not bar anyone.

 - Raising Gaming Girls: One of the causes of low STEM interest is how young girls are socialized, especially at a young age. Research (at least older research) claimed that boys were more often given computer privileges. Girls are very aware of their social status and reputation which causes them fear of being disliked or rejected by peers (especially boys). This accounts to why girls don't tend to participate much in math or science class where they may be labeled as "outcast" if they show too much interest.  It has become socially acceptable for girls not to be as in touch with math and science which could lead to careers in game development or at least participation in gaming.

  - Trouble spots: Larger companies like Microsoft need to take a better stand on inter-player interactions. The harassing, hating and vile behavior really does not give games a good reputation.

Conclusion
Over Ten years ago there was a book printed called Barbie and Mortal Kombat, which detailed some of the gender studies done on game content, player behavior and developers. Ten years after its release another follow up book, Beyond Barbie and Mortal Kombat came out to detail new research. Unfortunately very little had changed and some things had gotten worse. Luckily there have been some progress to bridge the gender gap in technology activities. Much of society's sexual sickness is really hurting many aspects of entertainment.

All we can do now is pray, support women and men making positive changes, and raise the standard of our media content. God has the power to heal wounds of the past and change hearts.

Gaming and Gay Marriage

This topic will be mostly focused on how gay marriage and the gay movement is having an effect on video games. In discussions about this topic, I tend to fumble around with my words so it is most likely this post might contain something you find offensive. So I'll put it out there, I do not support same-sex unions and stand on Church teachings on the matter. Now let's talk about games.

Popular Culture's Influence
You know who benefits from "negative" marketing? Most products, but especially games. They at times thrive on the negative attention they get because at least it's attention. If it upsets someone you do not like then you support it by spreading the word about it. Likewise, those that are upset about it and whine about it also advertise it.

The topic of homosexual encounters in a game's story tend to net positive attention from various groups so it has become appealing. As illustrated here rather eloquently by David Gaider's response to an unhappy fan "Straight Male Gamer". Mr. Gaider makes very valid points against the arguments brought to the table by the original post. However, the point is that the LGBT community is also a MARKET for products. It is a very vocal minority, more so than straight female gamers. The game in question also netted some public controversy thus making the possible homosexual relationship seem like a huge deal.

It is a very valid and seemingly open-minded (read relativist) point of view. The game neither praises nor condemns the morality of...well...any in-game choices. It tolerates. In a way it is a space in which you can project your own morals and see how things play out. I'll have a better article about this style of gameplay on another day.

Romantic Elements in Games
You know what else draws attention to a game? Having romance OPTIONS. For some games they bank on these options to help sell the game. And I'm not thinking only of the big name companies that have stoked the controversy flames for attention. No...I'm talking more about a niche series, Harvest Moon and a few other Japanese titles. Dating sims are a bit more popular across the ocean than they are here. There is a cult following but it's a minority.
A few years back there was a version of Harvest Moon where you could select a female avatar and have a "best friend" ceremony with another female NPC. (There were only 2 characters of supernatural nature that you could perform this with under my understanding.) However, the North American release removed this aspect from the game because well, they knew it would not market here AS WELL to have what looked like a lesbian marriage.

 It's fun to have a choose-your-own adventure type story where you can choose what character gets to be the romantic interest. Why not right? Now what if I want the romantic interest to be the same sex as my character? Does that make it an interesting option to explore or a promotion of a sinful lifestyle?


Marriage vs. Romance Scenes
To better answer that question I would like to discuss what the differences are between marriage and romance options when talking about games.
A romance option can mean two things depending on the intended audience of the game and the game style. In a game marketed to a "Rated T" or "E10", it means someone you date or ultimately becomes your boyfriend/girlfriend. Generally because that intended age is not ready for marriage.
In a game marketed to the "Rated M" or more crowd, romance means you get a sex scene with this character or "mature relationship". Generally because sexual promiscuity is more marketable as fun for a predominantly male audience...and a growing female audience as well.

However, there are a few titles that offer marriage options. That is to say that the goal of the relationship is to net a spouse.

From a Catholic perspective there is a severe lack of positive views of marriage and sexuality in games. It either means nothing or its tacked on as one option out of many. FOR EXAMPLE:
In Dragon Age: Origins you create your main character and can choose their appearance, background, sex and "race". The main character travels with companions which can be interacted with and develop over time. There is only ONE marriage option. It is only for a human female character of noble origins. There are no marriage options for male characters. Which at least to me says: marketing has shown that female players are more interested in marriage than our males who just want a fun fling or a threesome. A majority of our players are not into commitment.

Harvest Moon (a farming simulation game) in the earlier games of the series had a "purpose" for the spouse character. She would perform some of the chores on the farm every so often. In later games the spouse just says nice things to you, brings you a present on your birthday and is required to have the child character. On the other hand, the whole point of romancing a character is to eventually marry and you only get one choice. There is no option to divorce and pick someone else. It treats marriage in a fundamentally traditional way although it's still very superficial on the surface.

In game marriage is fairly common in MMO settings where the gameplay depends on social contact. The setting provides some stat boosts when the characters play together and opens up "couple only" quests unavailable for single players or even groups. This helps not only in-game situations but can help real relationships. Most MMO games restrict that marriage has to be between a female and a male avatar. Unlike single player games, the union is between two players and may represent a real life romance, friendship or marriage.

In almost all cases (MMO's being the exception), romance or marriage restricts focus on a character to a very specific role. It can be the characters defining aspect in the eyes of a player. Games tend to categorize characters into "functional roles" since that is part of game mechanics. It is very easy to see a character as "healer" or "range fighter" instead of a character.

Games influence on our Culture
 Ahh...yes, there is something very important as to why as Catholics we should care about how this is handled in a medium such as games. Art and Stories and Entertainment have a large hand in shaping our conscience and beliefs. This is why propaganda is a powerful weapon. It can dehumanize a group of people in our imagination.. Now, not all media propaganda is so overt, but social pressure influenced by the news, our films, and games makes an individual feel ostracized or attacked for believing or living in a way opposed to what is seen as popular.

There are games that do try and get an honest look at what a homosexual or Same Sex Attracted person struggle with in society without attacking any one belief system. It is usually through a "spokesperson" character in a narrative setting. The best example I know of being Persona4.
However, take that character and make it a romance option changes the perception of that character. It can narrow the view of the character to only be defined by their sexual orientation.
The character wasn't "FOR" you. You have other choices. Suddenly there is an US vs THEM instead of an attempt to open discussion on common ground. The same can be said of any female "option" in a game. Her struggles with society won't be taken seriously if she is also a romance option.  

For example, (I'm sorry I keep using Dragon Age...its just illustrates everything SO easily.) the character Anders from Dragon Age was a party member in one of the expansions. There were no romance options. The character was interpreted as a character of a certain personality and most likely assumed heterosexual.
This changed in Dragon Age II when Anders returns as a romance option. This caused a bit of turbulence since he revealed he was bisexual and open about being in homosexual relationships. The player's view of him changes between the two games because as a romance option we care about his sexuality as a character and it became his defining feature. Instead of thinking about what kind of struggles the character went through the player feels "cheated" because now Anders is flirting with us and we don't know why and our avatar is NOT homosexual at all.
In the end, it caused a lot of discomfort which instead of reflecting on WHY and trying to understand the source it reestablished that dividing line of us and them.  
(Side note: If playing as a female avatar, Anders does NOT talk about being homosexual directly. If you are a  male avatar, he admits it. Really not sure if I should interpret that as he's bisexual only if you play as a male character or not.)

Closing Thoughts
So what's the big deal with gay marriage in games? If marriage and romance is so "cheap" and superficial in games it should not be our concern. Well, to be fair, games have not moved out of the 'entertainment' realm into 'art'. The handling of deep human exploration is basic right now but there is potential to get deeper than what film and literature can provide.

Extra Credits does a good presentation on the state of sexuality in games: http://penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/sex-in-games
I recommend it strongly.
However, that does not change video game's role as an idea shaping medium. The ideals it promotes are usually only a base level that is skewed toward a young, white, male demographic. This may be more worrisome. There is a need for views on intimacy and marriage within games (and other media) that offer more positive situations outside of a character being married in the past or cheapening sex and relationships.

At this point the inclusion of a homosexual romance option strikes me as pandering or marketing without much deeper thought about what marriage or being homosexual actually means. The only thing it does do is "normalize" the idea of same-sex marriage in our imagination. Just as it normalizes the objectification of women, human trafficking, prostitution and solving problems with violence. If you are not confident about your stance on these subjects, it is easy to be influenced by fiction and imagination.

If you don't feel up-to-date on the Church's stance on Gay Marriage, I suggest reading the following articles:
What the Church Teaches about Homosexuality
Catholic Answers: Gay Marriage
How to Make the Case for Marriage (Using Non-religious Language)

Whew...this was a tough one to write.

NCLB: New Perspective

Apologies for the long delay between topics here. I have several that are partially written or outlined but I still need to do my research and/or find examples.

Over the holiday week, (that's U.S. Thanksgiving) I spent some time with my Dad and brother talking about society overall and our various insights on culture. It gave me a bit of perspective on how people view things, argue, and why there is such a need for No Catholic Left Behind that I had never considered.

For a refresher, No Catholic Left Behind or NCLB is my term for programs or items made for adult Catholics with only a child's understanding of the faith. I often express frustration at the presentation of such media that often falls short. However like I mentioned before I learned something interesting during our discussion on why the world is full of great evil but it is so very subtle.

I can not recall where the conversation started, I came in late. Things started with a discussion on the dehumanizing of people in general and its effect on Vatican II. My dad grew up in the 50s and 60s. He recalled that although he went to Catholic school, they real did not really teach religion class. In part thanks to the misunderstanding of the changes that Vatican II brought the new sense that religion is just about a personal relationship with God. Also the cultures "I'm okay, You're okay" mentality played a part of being quiet about your religion. My dad did not have a class on the Sacraments let alone other Church related matters. This lead to a whole generation of Catholics that after Confirmation only had a 5th or 6th grader's understanding of their faith. Which meant they were completely unprepared for that first testing university professor who would question their faith.

Now those youth are parents. And like their parents before them expected Catholic schools to teach the Catholic faith. Especially if the school is connected to a parish. Fortunately, schools are more thorough about teaching more of the faith and Youth Groups do well to keep the faith active in preparation for that first big test. However, many of my peers still have only a middle school level understanding, they were just uninterested in their faith because their parents were uninterested. The wheel turns and a cycle of lukewarm Catholics continues.

But this is where NCLB groups, classes and retreats are popular. The lowest common denominator Catholic is one with only a rudimentary study of the faith coupled with the lack of good parental examples. Catholicism is a faith of Tradition and passing on the Tradition is growing ever more important. Again, I see myself as fortunate. Had my father not been involved in the Charismatic Renewal and just been a stubborn, obedient Catholic I do not think I would have received such a good Catholic Education from him.

There is an importance in setting a family value to Tradition and the teaching of said Traditions. A family should be actively involved in teaching Traditions and teach by example. Schools continue to offer their support in teaching the things that perhaps the parents can not cover because they are not Bible Scholars or experts on Doctrine.

As our conversation went on we talked about how important the Catholic Church is in these current times. It is steadfast in a world of violent change, loose morals, and relativism. It remains as it has for generations a lighthouse in a turbulent ocean of trouble. It has its failings and history, but it cares to preserve that and remember it. It preserves ancient Traditions and will not change its foundations based on popular opinion at the time.

There were many topics we discussed that I hold in my heart but I can not clearly express here. I have not yet found the right words or context for it. There isn't much I can add about games this week but I do have a big topic that is somewhat related to something we talked about. So get ready because I'm going to drop a bomb on Games and Gay Marriage next time.

Peace be with you and also with your spirit. (New Roman Missal time!)
Also, Happy Church New Year. :) It's Advent.

Happy All Saints Day

For fun I'm going to list a couple of saints that I think relate well to the game industry or entertainment.

St. Isadore of Seville - Internet, Computers, and Computer Programmers

St. Francis de Salles  - Writers and Journalists

St. Luke - Artists

St.Catharine of Bologna - Artists

St. Cajetan - Gamblers

St. Veronica - Photography

St. Aloysius Gonzaga - Patron of Youth

St. Claire - Television

NCLB: How to Find your Soulmate without Losing Your Soul

Yesterday my dad sent me a book on dating that he had heard about on a Catholic news site. He asked me to give it a read and see if it was something my sisters would enjoy. So I started reading it and got through it in one night. That is because well...I started skipping things that did not apply to me personally. I skimmed and skipped quite a lot in this book because it was advice that simply did not apply to me, did not speak to me, or I had heard so often before in Youth Group Chastity talks.

So for me it had points, but the age for which this book is aimed is younger than I am, at least mentally.

Book Summary
The book is co-authored by a husband and wife, Jason and Crystalina Evert. There are 21 chapters with "secrets" and advice for women seeking love. They pull from talks they have given, email stories they have received, various behavior and scientific studies and their own experiences. The emphasis is on instilling virtue in young women when they date offering the Catholic alternative to the secular culture's ideas of love, sex and courting. The advice includes ten "guy" behavior traits to outright avoid to prevent getting hurt. It guides the reader through a process of building self-esteem, setting standards, and what love is suppose to be. There's nothing saccharine about the advice, it's very down to earth and supplemented well with stories from young women they received letters from or spoke to.

Much of the middle of the book is about "healing" and forgiving yourself if you failed to live chaste and want to turn over a new leaf. The authors themselves have admitted their failures many times but reassure the reader that they are not undeserving of love because of it.

The last third of the book is somewhat practical as well as spiritual advice about how to live a pure life. It includes a chapter on dressing modestly, how to break up, and bringing prayer and Christ into your life to help.

The Good Stuff
Some of the studies the book quotes were very interesting and I think will have a strong effect on the point the book sets out to make. Sharing stories from real girls does add a great dimension and context for the message of each chapter. It makes it relative to the reader by putting a personal touch on the chapter's topic.

It's not soaked with reprimands or "should haves", but offers an invitation for change, to raise the bar and practical ways to change your mindset about love and relationships. They save most of the "God Talk" to one or two specific chapters about renewing your spiritual life.

The Bad Stuff
There's not so much bad about the book so much as the fact that a book like this NEEDS to exist. It seems to me that the intended audience is a sexually active or formerly sexually active teenager or young adult. They come from broken homes and lack a good father figure.
That said, it means that the intended audience is a probably someone not very familiar with their faith or in a very bad spot. So for me it was disturbing that there seems to be this epidemic unloved women who have lost faith in true love.

For this reason, the book did not speak to me. I am not the books audience. I'm much older than the intended demographic and have luckily never experienced abuse. However, I have read a secular book meant for older women to regain confidence in dating and finding true love. Many of the secular books points were relatively the same advice but geared toward an older audience and introducing the concept of Affirmation.

Oh and there is one more kind of sour note that I will mention. Because of the intended audience, which seems to be broken young women who are sexually active, it feels like there are no virgins in high school or university. To me it ignored the virgin and made her/him feel like a non-existent entity or a relic of the past. I think I read one or two stories about a girl who was made fun of for her sexual inexperience and one about a woman from the 1940s retelling how she met her husband and virginity was a given. Luckily, much of the advice applies to any woman with low self-esteem. Only the presentation makes me feel like the authors were not writing to me.

Recommendation
I could recommend this book to someone in high school or university who feels in the target demographic. Even older women with a "young girl" mentality or a woman struggling with self-esteem issues. But a little part of me feels sorry that someone needs a book like this, but that is the world we live in.

However, many of the topics within the book come from chastity talks which can come off as condescending if you are living a chaste life. I recall those talks in high school and already knowing that I was doing good. And that may have fostered some form of arrogance in me and often I recall thinking like the proud Pharisee proclaiming to God "Look I'm not like that slut crying over there. I've stayed pure and chaste. Reward me!" Only to be reminded that like the Elder brother in the story of the Prodigal Son, "You are always with me. You have everything."

Basically as Jesus said, "It is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Mark 2:17)
(Still, reassurance is nice every once in awhile. It's important for virgins to find role models and pray for strength from St. Joseph, St. Raphael and the Virgin Mary. And if you're feeling tempted, St. Mary Magdalene knows how you feel.)

For my sisters, I think they might enjoy parts of the book as I did, but we are VERY lucky to have a loving father who has remained faithful to mother for nearly 30 years now. We know what marriage and love looks like, we have the good example.
For me, it just encouraged me to return to some advice I got from the other marriage advice book about Affirmation but coupled more strongly to prayer.

Last Note
There were a couple of points where I wanted to punch the book in the face for talking down guys that play video games need to grow up. This may be a reflection on the industry but its still "common knowledge" that games are for children...despite us having games rated M for mature. But that is a rant for another day and done better by someone else.
Wow, I managed to tie games into this somehow. YES. Mission Accomplished.

Virtual Sin

Intro
Do our action in games really affect our soul? Is it wrong to play certain game titles?
While I do not claim to be an expert on the subject of sin, I can offer some of my reasoning and point you to sources for your own further research. I am definitely open to corrections of my views should something be contrary to Church teaching.


What is Sin?
Let's define some terms here. Sin is the transgression of God's Law. There are Mortal Sins which deprive us of everlasting life and Venial Sins which weaken our will. Both are not good but we are creatures of sinful nature.
More details can be read here. I'm summarizing. (And doing a poor job of it.)

Traditionally there are 3 conditions that must be met to consider a sin a Mortal Sin:

1. It is a grave matter in direct conflict with God's Law. 
2. There is full consent of will
3. Full Knowledge that this is a sin

Mortal sin can be both thought, word and deed. Basically, you know it's very wrong, it's serious and you decide to do it anyway.
Venial sins are things of habit that are not something that deprives us of sanctifying grace.


Gaming and Sin
It is sure to come up for a moral Christian: Is playing "Game Title" sinful? As a Catholic we are morally obligated to filter what we consume as entertainment. Many little sins can lead up to serious sin later. Or using "Boiling Frog" anecdote, numbing our senses to the seriousness of a sin does not make it less serious.
So where does one draw the line when playing games?

In some cases, the sin is obvious...for a moral person. A rape simulator or pornographic game, is sinful to play because viewing pornography is a sin against Chastity.
Murder is also a sin and often times games are criticized as murder simulators and they are found in the homes of anyone in the news blamed with violent crimes. The jury is still out on this one but there is a thing as "violence porn".

Like any film or book, a person is meant to use their reason and conscience to determine if this is a good title to play or own.

Violence
The usual culprit is "too much violence" in modern games when criticism is looking for easy prey. However, I would consider all sports violent: football, hockey, rugby and soccer. Competition and finding outlets for aggression is healthy for a human being. Personally I deal with competitiveness and aggression through various outlets. I take a kung fu class or if I'm very upset I have to DO something so I go out and take a walk. Some people play drums or loud guitar. And I have some beat 'em up video games and a few "violent" video games. (Which are really not more violent than your average fantasy adventure movie.)

As a culture, we have grown rather numb to depictions of violence. We deal with many issues and violent crimes in our country. And some people may pervert this into pleasure.

But the real question is: Is it a sin to "kill" in a video game?
Murder is defined by the actual taking of human life. It is a grave matter.

Personally, I really think that something that is gratuitously violent, weakens one's will and can further the numbness toward human suffering. But like any violent sport, it can be therapeutic and a healthy social gathering. It can also be re-purposed for discussions on morality. Killing in a game is not taking a real human life and we do not have "virtual souls".

Sex
As mentioned before, viewing pornography is sinful.
However, sex a very human, yet divine act. It deserves respect in depiction. High Art, Literature and music all have elevated sexuality in a way that showcases its beauty and goodness. Holy Scripture is especially saucy if you care to read Song of Songs or Tobit and much of the Old Testament. Video Games have yet to make it but there are titles that come somewhat close.
In games that follow a heavy storyline, it is more likely to have respect to sexuality. Mostly because these will delve into relationships in general. Games without plots can have positive impacts as well.

Similar to violence, gratuitous nudity or near nudity weakens the will. The same could be said of "soft porn" or the weird dry humping scenes in some games. Playing a story that includes sex is not wrong, but explicit video is pretty much pornographic and should be avoided...or skipped if that option is available.

Addiction
Some of the real problems from gaming is how it affects your daily life. Like all entertainment, moderation is necessary. Taking time from family, friends or work are the obvious problems that can arise from spending too much time on one activity. At the same time, immersing yourself and spending several hours playing is not necessarily a bad thing. Just as staying up late reading a good book is fun or talking late into the night, is all right from time to time.

Sins of Thought
Going back to some definitions here, sin can be anything that you say, do and sometimes THINK. This is tough area for a concerned Catholic because of societal pressures. It is often thought that only things you say or do to harm others is sinful. But there are sins of thought or Internal Sins. Usually there are 3 distinguished types. (Latin ahoy!)

• delectatio morosa, i.e. the pleasure taken in a sinful thought or imagination even without desiring it;
• gaudium, i.e. dwelling with complacency on sins already committed; and
• desiderium, i.e. the desire for what is sinful.
  (from Catholic Encyclopedia).

Delectatio morosa and desiderium are probably the two types of internal sin that can be committed through media consumption.  In my brief research on the subject, the answer is mostly: does it promote you to indulge in this sin?
Also, author intent is taken in consideration. For example, it is not wrong to watch a movie with implied sex scenes or to view nudity in art if the content was for characterization, social commentary, or plot. However, a piece of art displaying nudity for the purpose of titillating the viewer is more dangerous. The famous line in Matthew 5:28: "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Conclusion
 If a person is struggling with "is this a sin?" type doubts, that doubt should be listened to! It may be your conscience which is your God-given help. It would be best to take such doubts to the confessional or ask a priest. (I would suggest asking a priest who knows you and you trust.)
But as for games, they are like other forms of media whose content should be filtered by an individual. If you have an unhealthy appetite for a particular vice AND you want to preserve your soul, then it's best not to feed the bears.

Update:  http://www.aliveandyoung.net/2009/05/music-and-passions.html
For a similar discussion as it relates to music. I feel it has very similar bearing to the discussion of a visual medium like games.