Being a Hero

After reading a lot of panicked news about the decline of our culture and wide-spread corruption, it feels like all one can do is stand by and watch. But we don't want to watch idly by. We want to DO, to ACT on something. And that got me thinking about Captain America...more accurately Steve Rogers.

I'm only familiar with the recent movie so that is what I'll be referencing. One of the reasons this was one of my favorite movies is Steve's single-minded devotion. It was not enough to sit and watch along the sides or support the war efforts indirectly. He wanted to act, to participate, to DO something. However, he could not participate in the normal way.

So many times, an issue will crop up that makes me feel like I want nothing more than to take up arms and march against the injustice. However, in our world there won't be just one thing, it'll be 20,000. I want to give myself to all these issues. I want to right all these injustices. But I'm not Captain America, I'm Steve Rogers, blocked at every point of entry.

I've often reminded myself that there should be one main passion in my life and that is what my energy should be spent doing. It's just so hard to choose, especially with all the noise that surrounds us. Protest this! Petition against that! March with us! Write to your representatives! Fight the injustice! It's nearly impossible to think with all the shouts for attention.

At the same time, the Church calls us to uphold Social Justice. The question is how do you answer the call?

This is when I look to St. Terese of Lisieux's story. There is the physical world where we see a lot of injustice, evil, and destruction. There is also the unseen side of things where battle rages on. The Little Way to Christ is still a way. That is the most important thing.

Stewardship is what it's known as in the Church. Our Time, Talent and Treasure are what we can give. I'm sure it has come up in a homily or two in your parish. It usually aligns with the ministry fairs where every ministry is recruiting for new members.

This past weekend, I went to my parish's ministry fair. I officially joined the parish a few months ago although I've been attending masses there for a year. (It's close to my work and after night shift, I could catch the 7:30 a.m. mass on my way home.) It's been one of my "recovery steps" to get involved with a parish community again. AND luckily this parish has a ministry for those that struggle with life's difficulties.

I don't want to bite off more than I can chew because I have a lot of hobbies I love to neglect. For now, I've signed up to join the choir, I've been part of the Prayer Warrior team (seriously an easy ministry. They email intentions and you pray for them. I love it. It also give me a good picture of how folks in the parish are doing in life. Looks like it's not all a walk in the park.). I also want to join the sewing ministry that makes prayer blankets. Because it fits with my hobby of sewing!

For starters, Church ministries are a great place to start on your walk to hero-dom. (Which may lead to martyrdom.)

In anycase, Thank Jesus for everything. He likes to work through us to help the least of his people.
(Which is why I help kitties get adopted at the pet store on Mondays. <3 I know kitties aren't people! That's more of a make me happy volunteering. Although I still have to take time out to do it.)

Game Thoughts: Visual Novels

I haven't really been playing anything super new. I survived the Summer Steam Sale so far.

I got Banner Saga 2...which ends on yet another cliffhanger! (You're killing me guys!)

I've spent a lot of time playing Visual Novels I've found on Steam and places. I record my playthroughs with my atrocious voice acting. Not available publicly...they're pretty bad. I may start doing some visual novel reviews though. (I say these things but don't expect a follow through.)

Most of these VNs have been out for a few years so there are guides and walk-throughs already.

I've noticed lots of cultural differences between VNs made in Asian countries vs Western made games. And lots of disturbances between them too. Here are my top 5 disturbing differences:

The games I'm factoring in are: Dandelion, Nameless, OzMafia!, Blood Code, Amnesia
Western Games: Backstage Pass, RE:Alistair, Nicole, Remember Me, Seduce Me

1. Abuse. So much physical and psychological abuse! And in many it gets quite disturbing. It can be as minor as an overly jealous boyfriend to a straight up psychopath. The worst part is that the main female character will end up with them in some kind of "good ending". NO! don't do it! It breaks my heart.

2. Rape. While there are no explicit scenes drawn out the description is enough to trigger me. Look, if you don't have consent and the girl has NO idea what you're talking about, it's rape. This ties into the controlling nature of many characters I run across. But this one makes me so sad.

3. Passive Women. In a majority of the games, the female character is a naive, passive, polite, and pure maiden. A perfect recipe for a victim. I know this stems from a cultural difference but it still frustrates me. I love it when the girl talks back with some sass or backbone for herself. Oh and add amnesia/lost memories. It works in a sense that it makes the character carte blanche for you to fill in. But she has a personality sort of.

4. Cohabitation. It makes sense in a game design perspective, but it's SO dangerous. Usually there are about 5 men and they all live in the same place.

5. Murdering Fangirls. I don't usually see this phenomenon in Western games where one of the male characters will have a literal fanclub. And they will straight up murder your sorry bum if you get too close to their bae. Also murder. So many of these somehow ended up with murder.

So why do I still play? Usually the characters outside the main girl are interesting and take you on a fun little journey. And pretty art. I'm a visual artist and love looking at pretty things. And something that's usually a bit better in Asian games is the art and visual design. Currently I'm going through OzMafia and it's watercolor pallete is gorgeous although a weird mix for the setting where there's mafia violence. (And guns...very rare in a game like this. Makes me a bit happy being a resident of Texas.)

However, I prefer the protagonists, stories and situations in Western Style games. Usually the main character has an active personality and sticks up for herself.

Again, I fully realize it just MAY be the collection of games that I've played or watched Let's Plays for, but seriously. These cultural difference make for something quite disturbing.
And I feel slightly guilty for enjoying them like trashy romance novels, but I'm usually just yelling at my screen "NOPE! Don't do it!"

Dragon Age Inquisition Part 3

Okay I did make it through some more of the story. A couple of themes came up:

Religion and Faith ( a big theme)
Homosexuality (another theme throughout the games)

So spoilers a bit here, at one point you meet with an openly gay mage as a companion. In a side-quest you can trick him into meeting with his father whom he was estranged from for years. It mirrored a lot of common modern reactions to a child coming out. It was very humanizing and illustrated the struggle of parent trying to reconcile with an older child. Also both being stubborn about things. It definitely was better handled than in Dragon Age II. Clearly this was planned out better.

In one of the random codex things you can find scattered throughout the game one was titled "Sexuality in Thedas". This one of the few codex entries I actually read read and I was saddened to see how well it reflects a common misconception: Sexuality is Separate from Procreation. One is just a taste, for fun or preference and the other a duty. ...See this is why you get plagues and blights Thedas. Seriously...sex...makes...babies. Fact of life. And it's not terrible. Also marriage not terrible.

Sooo...now for religion stuff. There's a LOT of it in this one. This is one of the few games that lets you play as a religious character without it coming off as too pandering or negative. I've gotten to a point in the game where it was revealed how the Inquisitor got the "mark". Throughout the beginning of the game, lots of people seem to believe it was a gift from God (I hate that they call him the Maker. Blegh...so generic.) or the religious prominent prophet. But surprise, surprise, the Mark is from a happy accident. Well, not that happy. This throws some characters into a situation where they could think "Wow...I've been LYING to people saying I got this mark from Andraste."

But they have SMART religious characters. If you have Faith you can believe that God works in the world and allowed it to happen. If you don't, nothing changes. Religion and Faith are themes I feel are handled well in this series. They do a good job humanizing characters even "religious" ones.

The main "church" of the world isn't the only one on the chopping block either. My main play through is with an Elf character who comes from a background that has a completely different belief system. (Which was uncomfortable for her to be called chosen by the main religion's prophet.) But there was a big twist (which I won't reveal) about one of the Elven gods.

Reforming the main Church was also a big thing. The player gets to "choose" or "influence the clerics" on who to choose for the next Divine. This particular Church comes off as a bit more political than spiritual but that would make the game less fun not to choose the next leader of the main faith of the world. (Although personally, I'd probably be part of the Black Chantry that's lead by a male Divine...just sayin'.)

The role of this Chantry is also pretty well...earth centric. It has the common criticism of building elaborate cathedrals and dresses instead of feeding the poor. Huh...where have I heard this criticism before? Sounds so familiar! -__-

Anyway, I'm very, very close to finishing my first play through of the game. :D

Video Share: David Gaider's Presentation on Sexism and Sexuality in Games

Video Link (50 minutes)
Note: The video is pretty clean but there are some mild swears and sexy pictures. (nothing explicit).

I want to be a bit jaded about the video article, but he makes some very good observations and solutions. Still recognizes that very broken nature of business.

Basically advocates player centric design practices (feedback from fans, research etc), hiring a diverse staff, and trying not to please all audiences all the time.

Also noted that games normalize some behavior or makes it seem okay.

I like these practices. but I have my scruples about how sex is portrayed in games and other media in general. They are still aiming at the base nature and male fantasy portion, not so much the consequences, responsibility, etc.

That's my piece on it.

Ideals and Objects

This past week, I enjoyed a little video by Jimquistion on the Escapist about the "objectification of men" in video games. While his presentation style may not be for everyone, the point he made was very solid and worth the discussion.

A common argument against objectification of women in the medium is that male characters are equally objectified. To which Jim argues: "No, they're idealized, not objectified." He went on to say that this too was a problem.

It was a very well worded piece and I recommend watching it if you can stomach his style of "humor".

Ideals: Good or Bad?

While most moral people can agree that reducing a person to an object is wrong, holding someone up to an ideal should be preferred. But what do we mean by "ideals".
One definition is an archetype or something that exists only in fantasy.
Another definition is a principle or value that one pursues as a goal. (wikipedia) 

So an ideal is abstract and often used in characters to uphold said value. For game characters or heroes, that value often reflects the values held by the culture which is a mixed bag of good and evil.

For example, courage, strength and sacrifice are all values that game heroes often ascribe to. These are generally good. Other values such as womanizing, sarcasm and callousness are often portrayed as well.

A good character is generally a mix bag of virtues and vices. It's necessary for them to seem human or relatable to the audience.

Ideals and Idolatry 

Idols are images that we worship or uphold that we believe support our system of values. To take an example outside of games, Team Edward or Team Jacob in Twilight fans illustrates this concept rather well. Large groups of people uphold Edward as the ideal lover for his qualities of protectiveness, focused attention and faithfulness. (Which most sane people translate to controlling, jealousy, and obsession.)
There are many examples of our culture idolizing celebrity status for a myriad of values: beauty, singing talent, wealth, political standing, leadership, knowledge, etc.

The danger lies in setting that person as only that value. Placing the person as a goal to be attained. Which is often why we become disappointed when a celebrity does something completely human like cheat on their spouse or lies.

Holding a person to represent an ideal value perfectly is unrealistic. It turns them into "objects".

Ideal Characters

Characters set in a fantasy world are not human in the same sense that a celebrity is human. They can be vessels of values attained near perfectly. In morality stories, they work well to illustrate a moral value or lesson.

The question becomes: Is this bad for games?
When considering an audience and the nature of the story told, it will be more or less effective. It's good for characters to uphold good values and overcome vices. Audiences generally like that sort of thing.

Conclusion

Art idealizes many things. The human form is made beautiful, but it does not exist in that way in our current reality. Simply because such perfection or idealization cannot exist in our reality does not mean we cannot hope for it in true reality (heaven).
It is common in our culture to reject ideals because they're unrealistic. Realism is what matters most. It's a very utilitarian viewpoint.
Should video game characters be less idealized? Or perhaps should they portray different values?

Introversion, Catholics and St. Joseph

This past Sunday, I had a mini-crisis of faith. I judged myself harshly and thought that God was probably angry at me.

I consider myself well educated in my faith and I continue to study, learn and grow. However, I know I can be wrong very often because organizing my thoughts takes a good deal of time and I want to look up teachings to be sure I'm not preaching heresy. 

On Sunday, we had a gathering of many small Christian groups for a brunch and reflection. The food was great but I sat near people that were familiar to me. We ate, socialized and then started the meeting. We broke off into groups where we were forced to sit with people that were not from our group. Naturally, this breaking out of the comfort zone was uncomfortable. We re-read the gospel reading where Jesus' command was to love others as He loves us. 

There were two reflection questions that we were discuss:

1) How does God relate His love to You? And how do you Relate that love to others.

2) Who demonstrates this love of God to you?

The first question really gave me a start and I started to think very hard. My thought process was: 

What did this question even mean? What is it really asking? Do I talk about what God has done for me or about his presence? This is kind of a personal question. Sometimes I'm an irrational being that believes God DOESN'T love me. (like I said, irrational...and even in my irrational thought I'm aware I'm being irrational. It just can't be stopped.) Is this about feelings? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS QUESTION!!! 

All the while other people in my small group are talking. An outgoing, chatty young woman answered almost immediately, while I was still mulling the question in my head. She began speaking on how much she felt God's love through the Eucharist and the self-sacrifice which she tried to show others. Which affected my thought flow.

Thought flow: Sacraments, why didn't I think of that? Duh, this should be an easy question to answer if these individuals are so quick to answer. It's so obvious to them! Why is this so difficult for me? I've studied my faith for years and I pray to God constantly. By the way God, this question is really confusing. I know there's not an obvious right/wrong answer but I'm feeling under pressure here. 

More people talk and share how they volunteer and share God's good news with others. How they work with their family and children who have bi-polar problems. (The day before I partook in a chaplet of Divine Mercy on the radio where intentions were offered for a woman with bi-polar and other mental problems.) Now the social pressure is mounting. Part of me felt like I had to show that I was JUST as Catholic as these folks. Except I don't have a family of my own and my relatives live thousands of miles away. I also don't volunteer because I don't have the time in my situation. (Single, live alone, supporting myself in a competitive industry limits my volunteer time to weekends only or some evenings.) So now I'm starting feel like an inadequate Catholic because I don't volunteer, I don't go to CRHP retreats (I did once, but it only convinced me never to go on a group retreat again), I don't go to daily mass or participate in many ministries (due to me living 20 minutes from my Church on a day with no traffic), I don't teach, etc. My mind was directed on what I DO NOT DO. (Which was also a trap I fell into when Unemployed.) 

Eventually I was given a chance to speak. My mind was already a torrent of social inadequacy and still trying to figure out how I show God's love and how He shows His love for me. 

"I...I have to admit I have a hard time putting thoughts to words. Especially about something like this."

I got some encouraging coos and a few prompts to open up, but I ended up diverting the topic to the next question. Almost immediately after I had said these words, my little self-esteem demon started accusing me. "How could you not answer this question? It's so obvious! It's so obvious God loves you! He's shown you countless times and now that you're asked to share with people of your OWN FAITH you can't! What kind of Catholic are you? How are you helping the Church at all? You're so selfish!"

The second answer was simpler for me. Everyone said "My mother, mother's are naturally self-sacrificing." It was here I proudly brought up my Father who not only taught me my faith but lived it. He knew he wanted to help people with his job. He became a doctor over a priest. He worked LONG hours, gave some of his time to a charity clinic, still had time and patience for us. Never complained. Never raised his voice to us. Took good care of his mother when she was in her last years (she passed away this past March.) I found myself kind of rambling on and on about my father's virtues.

Someone complimented about how articulate I was. 

For a moment there I kind of realized that perhaps because of how I worded my previous answer, they thought I was slow or handicapped somehow. 

After the whole meeting, I went home feeling incredibly guilty and inadequate as a Catholic. I couldn't preach a gospel and I didn't work with social justice even though I know its good. Even my former comfort of BEING and not DOING wasn't helping. What I do flows from who I be. All I could see was me being selfish with the love God gave me. 

The question haunted me for a few days. Only today as I began writing this have I come to realize what ACTUALLY happened was not a weakness of faith or even what God commands. So powerful was this shame (because this is not the first time it has happened). Every time I'm put on the spot to share what I believe, I choke up and end up blurting out something to to get it off me. 

Today, while browsing facebook there was some article posted about introverts. It reminded me of the YouTube video of QUIET based on the book by Susan Cain. Which I rewatched and that lead me to read a few more articles on introverts in Church. 

I've known for a long time that I am an introvert, but it still surprises me when these Church things come up and end up hurting my faith instead of building it up...you know like how Church is supposed to. It took me 2 days thinking about that question to really come up with an answer. 

I talk to God in prayer all the time. Good, bad, mundane, or exciting, we're talking. Of course I also take time at the end of every day for formal prayer time before bed and read some Scripture. I've been doing this prayer time since I was a child. As for how I show this love, I pray for others (the ministry I am involved in prays the rosary at funeral wakes), with others and reflect. I am a person of prayer, mostly contemplative prayer and sometimes randomly bursting into song. I took time to think of quiet Saints like today's feast of St. Joseph!! 

Here is a saint that doesn't say a word in Scripture. I don't think volunteering was a thing back in the day, nor was sharing the Gospel (at least not in the evangelical sense). He worked to support his family, followed the laws of his faith, obeyed God even when it was hard. 

Also thought about St. Terese the Little Flower and St. Monica. All were contemplative. (And focused on helping their families and immediate neighbors.)

So there is stock in understanding one's personality traits. It's not that I'm stupid or lazy, but I'm working against my very nature. Many introverts struggle with this problem and being called to Evangelize terrifies the Holy Ghost out of me. (Sometimes I think I'm clever...:B) 

Anyway, this was definitely a more personal post, but there is some stock I think in understanding introverts in an extrovert culture. I'm definitely going to look into it deeper. 

A Conflict of Interests

I was going to (and still will) post a personal whiny blog post about my personal struggle to find others who both share my faith and share my passion/hobby. 
Of course with the internet, it's kind of easy to find such people. I've linked a new website I stumbled upon http://catholicgamer.com  (I guess I can't buy that domain name.). The blogs are definitely better written than mine and there are some very cool game suggestions for my fellow Catholic gamers. 

Polarized Opposites

So, I enjoy geeky things. I like going to conventions. I'm getting more and more interested in cosplay. I play video games and make them in my spare time. I draw my own web-comic. I could prattle on about Narnia and Lord of the Rings and Dragon Age for hours if given the chance. 
And most of all I love sharing and participating in group geek activities. However, I always felt that there was a part of me that was not always accepted. I'm Catholic and a pretty orthodox one at that. I love my faith as much or more than my hobbies. 

It's not really something that I will bring up at a convention. I am not out to evangelize when I attend conventions or participate in my hobbies. That would be something that would almost immediately get me "kicked out of the club". I don't preach on soap boxes, because that's not my style. However, I feel very lonely on a Sunday during a convention weekend as I go to Mass without friends. 

However, on the flip side when  hanging out with my Catholic female friends, we can talk all about the Church and relationships and gossip for hours. One is sort of an anime fan and one sometimes plays games with her husband. 

To have all parts of our person accepted by a group of friends can be tough when one's interests are niche or appeal more to men. 

Why the Two Sides?

I've written before about some of the possible reasons for anti-Christian attitudes in geek culture. Now I'd like to explore the other side of the coin. What is it about Catholicism or Christianity that doesn't like geek culture. 
1.) I find that the Catholic Church is notoriously slow with adapting to much of the newer technology of our every day life. This starts to cripple the Church in evangelization and education.  Hopefully, the New Evangelization will help in these efforts.

2.) Geek culture openly rejects religions and the Church will not force itself where it is not welcomed culturally. That is to say if no one is receptive we "shake the dust of the town from our sandels and move on."  

3.) Lots and Lots of rampant sin or methods of weakening the will can be found in geek culture. From pin-up comic girls to violence to hentai, there is plenty that the Church and good Christians should turn away from. To be honest a large chunk of geek culture is focused on sin. It glorifies lust, revenge, and unhealthy obsession. 

Popularity Contest Loser

As with any hobby there is potential for great good and great evil. At the same time, the heart of Christianity is not to be the most popular religion on the planet. The scope of eternity matters to the Christian faith and our own relationship with God. We are called to live life in holiness which means to be "set apart". 
Geek culture and gaming have helped me better understand who I am, to love myself and actually draw closer to Jesus. This is why at least for myself I can reconcile this apparent paradox of interests. 

Growing up, I went to a Catholic middle school. I was unfortunately stuck with a rather rotten bunch of classmates. I was teased, shunned and well, generally I was odd. Slow to mature physically and socially, I was at a disadvantage. I was very artistic, very interested in my own religion (which some Catholic students were not, surprise surprise) and interested in odd things...like science. The internet was one of the first places that taught me that I was not alone in my interests.

So you could say, in a sense, that my enjoyment of geek culture is because like most geeks I was "bullied". I felt accepted for the most part...except that one obnoxiously obvious religious part of me. But I was more accepted in Geek culture than in any Catholic Youth Group. 

And that's all I'm going to write about that. This was helpful to me at least and hopefully to someone else. I know I'm not alone in this paradox, but geez oh pete why are we so darn quiet? 

Public Enemy: Video Games

As someone who enjoys playing video games, it becomes frustrating when Youth Group Leaders, Ministers or very intelligent Catholics condemn the hobby. Naturally we feel defensive because it feels like they get their information straight from TV news which has been anti-video games for a long time.

So let's talk about games and why they are so unpopular with a Christian life style. There are three common arguments used to condemn video games: violence, addiction, and controversy.

Must it all end with Violence?
The fact that video games are violent is a true statement. A large percentage of game titles are about using violence or murder to solve a problem. There are whole genres dedicated to this style of game.
There is concern that being exposed to so much violence it desensitizes the player towards real violence and other people.

Studies on the subject of games and violence remain vague on the causality issue. It is not a simple A causes B.  There are many mediums in which we expose ourselves to depictions of violence including news, movies, comics, and television. A vicious cycle has been in motion for quite some time. Culture influences media as much as media influences culture.

Granted this IS a big issue in games that needs to be addressed. Having such a large percentage of games being shooters, hack/slash, or beat 'em up type games reaffirms the idea that ALL games are violent, with the exception of "games for kids" which may be non-violent. It'd be nice if games were a bit more like Deus Ex: Human Revolutions where there is a "non-lethal" route to take. Or a game like Mirror's Edge where the protagonist can not defend herself except by running and jumping.




A-A-Addiction
From the game designer chair, getting the player "lost in flow" is the pinnacle of good game design principles. This has become a double edged sword for games as an activity. There are reports of people dying at their computer or showing symptoms similar to any addict.

However, this is a bit overblown in reports and all the attention is very negative. Because gaming is still seen as socially unacceptable as a practice except for children.
I would like to direct you to two very well written articles on the subject of addictions to MMOs which is the most commonly addictive game type:
The Trouble with Addiction
Understanding and Dealing with Gaming Problems: A Q&A with a Therapist

  "As with other activities in life, it starts to become clear that moderation is key. Online games can be therapeutic and enabling when engaged with in moderation, but can become disabling when someone plays too much. While seemingly obvious once laid out, this sensibility is oftentimes missing when the issue is presented by the media or anti-game proponents. A complicated “both-and” issue becomes mangled into a far more simplistic “either-or” / “good vs. evil” issue."
(Nick Yee, "The Trouble with Addiction" 2006)

This problematic gaming issue comes up a lot in my conversations. There is nothing that upsets me as a gamer more than someone telling me about a news story about someone who died at their computer while playing a game. This marginalizes me as someone who enjoys the hobby but plays with moderation. This incident does not put ALL gamers at risk for spontaneously dropping dead with controller in hand.

All that said, I do not deny the fact that there are people with problematic playing behaviors. The ones that show up in the news and used to villainize gaming.
"Unfortunately many people, particularly those prone to compulsive behaviors, are not highly self-aware and have a hard time reflecting upon and regulating their own behavior. Children are not able to do this, which is why they have parents who regulate them. Adolescents do it sketchily. Adults vary according to many complex factors."
(Nick Yee, "Understanding and Dealing with Gaming Problems", 2006)

I know for me my parents were good at regulating our play time with gaming systems, TV watching and computers. Self-discipline is the important factor in combating the potential of what could be dangerous behavior.

Too Sexy for my Shirt
The perceived maturity level of developers is actually fairly accurate in many companies. Dealing with complex issues like relationships does not come easily in game story telling. So, the game industry is incredibly competitive and cut throat. With the current business model they have to be. And it all comes down to sales and consumers.

See in film and other media avenues, they don't suffer financially if someone buys a used DVD or watches it "for free" online. Pirating movies and TV, while still active, have become less and less of a problem for the industry thanks to the many avenues of legal distribution now available. Movie in particular have several avenues for making money back and profit from theatrical releases AND DVD sales.

For a game company, they only make money back on a project from every new game purchased. Consumer expectations are set at a certain level and the economy makes them much more careful about choosing which game to buy for $60. Used game stores like Gamestop take advantage of this by profiting off of the sale of used games. The developers don't see any income from the sale of used games. Pirating is a bigger problem for games. And here's where the controversy comes in.

The cost of game development for AAA titles is about the same as a Hollywood film. It's in the millions. In terms of game design, things are average at best. So many companies have adopted the tactic of banking on gaming's negative image as a selling point. Stirring the controversy pot is going to make sales. Gratuitous gore, nudity, violence and sex all mean sales to the "core demographic" and getting the news to talk about the game. Free advertising.

This is something that the industry is struggling with. It's easier to make a mediocre game and then market the controversial nature of the title than to make something innovative and good.

However, this is why the Independent game companies and "Casual" game companies are starting to see some growth. The core demographic is tired of average game design and quirky/creative titles are starting to gain more recognition. Such as..grumblegrumblangrybirdsgrumple*, Journey, and Limbo.

This is a legitimate problem in game development that hopefully the industry will grow out of. Because the more they use the controversy pot, the less chance the medium has at being viewed as a legitimate ART FORM like film or comics (to a much lesser extent).
http://penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/facing-controversy
(This short video presentation discusses this topic very well.)

Can I be a Catholic Gamer?
 PLEASE DO! I think it is INCREDIBLY important to start playing LIKE a Catholic (or Christian). As I've been reading some of Matthew Kelly lately (I hope to review the book on this blog in a few weeks), it is important to remember our faith should be a lifestyle. Can video games be a part of that lifestyle?
Well, movies, comics, music and TV certainly have become a part I don't see why games should be any different. But it is incredibly important to remember that the games you play will reflect on you. Just as the movies you enjoy and books you read reflect on you. Owning well know controversial titles is probably NOT the best reflection. It suggests all the negative ire associated with the negative view of gamers in general. It also suggests that you are ONLY practicing your faith in certain areas of your life instead of ALL.

Please be reassured that not all game titles rated are evil. There is a wide array of titles that may include "mature" themes that are worth playing. (Granted, I always tend to approach M-rated games with extreme prejudice.) Purchase with conscience is recommended.
Playing with moderation is important. In various stages of life, long hours of gaming will be less and less frequent.

Conclusion
There is unfortunately merit to the things video games are accused of. Some of it is media propaganda making mountains out of molehills, but there is a good portion of gaming that needs to be changed. Gaming is more social than ever before and hopefully someday will be less of a social stigma.

Battle of the Sexes

There's a Women's Issue in Gaming! (Note: Some of these links may not be work safe).
 On many gaming news websites, it is bound to come up. There is bound to be some commentary on the inequality and abuse of women in games and the gaming community. Women are considered an outside other or toy or generally made to feel unwelcome. Online reactions (and in some cases real life conversations) end up in a HOSTILE confrontation between the differing opinions. (Most reactions are summarized well by Dr. Nerdlove.)

Okay, we get it, there's a definite inequality going on here that favors men. We also get that there is something wrong about it. However, both parties continue to be worked up about it and very little progress is made. Now I will not go through and try to debunk every argument brought to the table on this issue (Dr. Nerdlove's article does so nicely.) However, I'm going to try to understand where the friction lies, why the reactions are so volatile, and tie it in with Catholic Theology. (Because that's how I roll.)

The Friction
 The conflict probably starts at the beginning with Original Sin. This opposition of men and women is a product of our sinful nature so there will be friction between us. Luckily there is grace but only if our hearts are open and willing. There are things that make it difficult for BOTH sides to really be forgiving or open to grace. I'll take only one sample from each side. 

  Straw Feminist/Extreme Feminists
   I wrote about feminism once. There are some problems with the feminist movement that have hurt our society rather than helped women. Some of the media tactics aim to belittle men, guilt men, or emasculate men. These make men out to be the enemy...the evil tyrant to be overthrown.
...
In any case this certainly causes friction between the two parties. However, NOT ALL FEMINISTS DO THIS. Most feminists I know work quietly and educate misinformed parties on a one-on-one basis. Feminists are also men, as Jesus himself is often viewed as one of the most feminist men in history. Feminism is not meant to take power away from men and give it to women so that the roles are reversed. Feminism is MEANT to empower women to be women...to be a person and a creation of God.
I forget where I read it, but somewhere I read that "the morality of women is historically what standardized morality for society." However that's not to point the finger of blame. (The first reaction of our parents...SHE MADE ME DO IT!)

  Man Child Culture
Perhaps this trend is a result of the wrong way the feminist movement went. Or perhaps it is the nature of work/providing for the family has changed so that physical strength is not a necessity. (Helloooo office work.) I don't have the research or background to really analyze it but if I was to point to the source I'd merely point to our fallen nature. (It's that nice catch all.) So, we have a generation of men and women that are maturing slower in some areas but too fast in others. In the past there was a clear distinction (and fun rituals) for becoming an adult in society. This in between "teen" stage where you're not yet an adult but not really a child leads to some confusion. Some of my friends still reason and think like they did in high school.
High school was a time I remember being fueled by lots of emotion, passion and feelings instead of rational thought and reflection. And it was a fun time. I did not have the responsibility of an adult like bills or work. I could enjoy all the fun stuff of childhood but still be treated like an adult.
Much of my philosophy was based on what I "felt" was right. Many people still do this and its difficult to reason with them. I think I was lucky and was often in the 'wrong' as a teen so I got to learn what was right. I learned to look at data, evidence and back up my arguments. (Granted, "experience" still makes a large portion of my argument but hey, it works to an extent.)

Anyway, the whole point of this part was to clarify that because masculinity seems to have changed in our minds, then extremes are taken instead of the middle ground. You know the rational path? Or that little part in your brain that makes you question your beliefs or admit you are wrong? (Hint: It's called humility.Hmm I should probably get some more of that.)

Solutions that are not solutions
 There's a problem. So what is the answer? Some things that I've seen offered as solutions either are more damaging or like a band-aide for a cold. One of the repeat offenders is the over use of sexploitation of women characters in games and comics to market the product. So obviously the answer is...
- Equal Sexploitation -
While it works for humor purposes, there is all kinds of wrong. This is reinforcing the sin of objectifying the human body. Yes, its true they are only drawings or 3D models. True they are only characters with no real feelings and are (in a sense) things not people. I think the heart of the issue lies in what characters represent and what art is. That may be for another blog post. For now let's just say that having revealing armor for both characters is not the answer. 

- Women Only Space
 This would be that there are games "for women/girls" and games for men. This is kind of like there being a segregated space in a place that should be for everyone. Now there ARE places and situations where it is indeed better and healthier for it not to be co-ed. (Public Bathrooms come to mind but I know not everyone believes this.)  However something like entertainment usually held in the privacy of one's home and in public spaces, there really is no "men only" space. It's imaginative. Which is quite powerful as imagination does not always have reason to control it. I think this solution fits under the banner of "get back to the kitchen."
 HOWEVER, there are special groups of women only gaming sessions which I think is a pretty neat idea. (Probably because I feel there's a disconnect between me a gaming woman and my other female friends who do not play games frequently.)

- Role Reversal
Now this is an interesting idea but in practice does not work. Having the princess save the prince CAN work as a plot line but...I think this student animation kind of illustrates where things can go wrong.  (Thus the comedic value.) Video games often play as an empowering fantasy. Not all players do this but some project their desires onto a character doing fantastic things. (Role Play as it were.)
This is NOT to say that female game characters can't be knights, captains or soldiers out to save the day. The point is that the role of a character should not be limited or defined by the gender. (For example, in many JRPG titles only female characters hold the position as a "healer" and never use swords. There is a cultural thing about this which is interesting but that'd be a tangent.) 

Theology of the Body
Now I'd hardly call myself an expert or even well versed in TOB. I've only had a couple intro classes and kind of tuned the rest out as re-hashed chastity talks that I've had barked at me since middle school. That said, I will be a student of ToB for a long time but I've got the GIST of what it's all about. It's about the truth of our sex. And the truth is God created us male and female for a purpose. We would compliment each other, but still both be ultimately human.

 For us without the benefit of seeing beyond the Veil of the Flesh can have difficulty understanding this simple truth and amazing gift.
So are there things that can only be enjoyed by men? I'm sure there are many that have a higher interest for males but that should not exclude the fact that it is not an exclusive activity. Video games are one of those activities that have a higher appeal to men on the surface but looking at earlier games we can see that in actuality, there was no gender bias.


Solutions?
Is there a solution? I like to believe so. I spent two years steeped in research detailing the differences between men and women in their approach to computers, games and STEM subjects (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics.) Some of the best solutions are about Gender Equity. Some companies do better than others in this respect.

 - Nintendo Japan: Systems marketed as FAMILY systems meaning men and women of multiple ages. This has been Nintendo's model for years, because they were primarily a toy company. They are smart in targeting such a general audience and for the longest time only offering limited 3rd party games on their system. (However, as of this past E3, Nintendo seems to be opening its door to more 3rd party developers.)

  - Mobile Gaming: This platform really does target as many demographics as it can thanks to its cut-throat competitive market. (It's tough...I know...my company didn't survive. :( ) Games are smaller and usually more abstract but it does not bar anyone.

 - Raising Gaming Girls: One of the causes of low STEM interest is how young girls are socialized, especially at a young age. Research (at least older research) claimed that boys were more often given computer privileges. Girls are very aware of their social status and reputation which causes them fear of being disliked or rejected by peers (especially boys). This accounts to why girls don't tend to participate much in math or science class where they may be labeled as "outcast" if they show too much interest.  It has become socially acceptable for girls not to be as in touch with math and science which could lead to careers in game development or at least participation in gaming.

  - Trouble spots: Larger companies like Microsoft need to take a better stand on inter-player interactions. The harassing, hating and vile behavior really does not give games a good reputation.

Conclusion
Over Ten years ago there was a book printed called Barbie and Mortal Kombat, which detailed some of the gender studies done on game content, player behavior and developers. Ten years after its release another follow up book, Beyond Barbie and Mortal Kombat came out to detail new research. Unfortunately very little had changed and some things had gotten worse. Luckily there have been some progress to bridge the gender gap in technology activities. Much of society's sexual sickness is really hurting many aspects of entertainment.

All we can do now is pray, support women and men making positive changes, and raise the standard of our media content. God has the power to heal wounds of the past and change hearts.

Work in Progress

Time for this blog has been rare as of late since I've been actively searching for steady work since January. It becomes hard to focus on other pleasures in life if one is in a difficult place. This trial of unemployment has been at the same time an opportunity for reflection on both the nature of finding work and how I end up spending my time.

Nature of Work
Being productive and earning reward is somehow wired into us. When we find ourselves unable to earn, we become frustrated. Perhaps it is the American way to be able to stand on your own two feet and make your own way without anyone's help. While we my view our lives in this way, it could not be farther from the truth.

Our culture also emphasizes on how much output a person produces. A worthwhile member of society is someone who is productive. I know even I myself will judge another person by how much they work or the nature of their work. To me at least a doctor seems like a better human because the nature of their work requires a very specific, hard to acquire skill. They also contribute to the health of society which to me is a worthwhile "product". Which is to say that the value placed on that "product" is higher than others.

Nature of Unemployment
It is like wearing a badge of shame at times to be unemployed and actively looking for work. The temptation is to try to find something at fault with the person, especially if you are the one unemployed. This may be because we feel so defined by the work we do or the jobs we hold. It can become our identity. Losing that identity becomes a source of discouragement. It is easy to forget something of great importance.


Perspective
God does not identify us by the job we hold or how much money we earn or even how many hours we put into a job. It is so easy to lose sight of this when happily employed or when desperately looking. I've had trying days during this time where I did not even want to get up out of bed. What was the point? I had no plans for the day. No job to do. But I had to get up. And it was by the hand of God that I would get out of bed, drink a breakfast shake, and spend some time trying to find work or finding time to go to a daily mass or sit out on my porch and pray a rosary.
It is enough to our Lord that I just be. During this time I've had a few powerful revelations. Well powerful to me at the time. The first is the reassurance that God is more concerned with who I am and not what I do. And also that God ultimately wants me to be happy.

In the Legion of Mary, our spiritual director said once: God weeps at our suffering.
It is easier to think that God is a god of wrath and that suffering is a form of punishment. I had never thought of God weeping, but it makes sense. Christ shared sorrow and joy with the people around him, he would do the same for us. At the same time, Christ also laughs with us and gives us the strength to bear the weight of our crosses.

Pruning
I know at least for me this is an OBVIOUS pruning. A couple weeks ago the gospel talked about how God was the caretaker of the vineyard and even good branches must be pruned to bear more fruit. Since I have so much "free time", it would make sense that I have more time to draw closer to God and develop some of my virtues. (Well, I have my good and bad days. :))

My faith is growing and also my trust. It is only when our trust in God is challenged that we can grow in it. My brother, who has recently landed a steady job (God be praised), had been long unemployed or under-employed. He lived off the generosity of others while looking for work. At times getting a little frustrated with God, because he had trusted him.

This is a way to shake us out of lukewarmness which is definitely something I struggle with. Once I hit "good enough" I'll stop until motivated. But I also get "mad" because I can not see the eternal plan and my suffering right now doesn't make complete sense. I can only GUESS.


Nature of the Hunt
Now all this ties into how job searching and landing a job has changed over time. I've taken classes on job hunting and find myself its student quite often. In the entertainment industry, the saying is: It's who you know. That will land you a job.
There are many techniques the utilize to better your rate of success: Networking, Marketing Yourself, and Experience. However even with all these techniques there is NO GUARANTEE.

One of the great lessons I'm relearning is that any job I've landed was through Divine Providence. I moved over a thousand miles to a strange town where I knew no one and landed my first job in 8 weeks thanks to being proactive and blessings from God. Now my network is a little wider, I'm making all the right moves, but I'm still unemployed. So I have put my faith on the line and my trust in God...and trust in my friends.

For all those seeking employment, I highly recommend praying to St. Joseph the worker. And for those getting quite desperate asking St. Jude or St. Rita for a little help may do you some good.
Also don't be afraid to ask anyone for prayers.

St. Joseph, Pray for us.

Anti-Christian Gamers

In online communities and even live events, there is a definite atmosphere that seems unfriendly to a Christian believer. Granted, there are many good and moral Christian gamers, but they are not very apparent within Geek or Gamer culture. This post will be mostly based on personal observation and a few hypothesis on the subject.
So I will start with the apparent "feeling" is towards a Christian gamer/geek.

Assumptions about Christianity
In an online discussion or online in general there seems to be a misconception of what a Christian is and what it means to follow Christianity. This is an overall cultural problem but it feels like everything gets emphasized in geek culture.
To me in conversation where a moral ethic was being debated it seemed to me that people reacted to the "I'm Christian" statement thusly:

- Christians are Puritans that don't like having fun and kill witches (aka were bullies)
- Christians impose their beliefs on others and damn those who don't follow them
- Christianity's a corrupt, human made religion
- Lots of Christians do terrible things
- Jack Chick Comics (Jack Chick supports a very extremist view and has made comics about D&D and other pop culture "evils". The extreme it takes and its assumptions kind of make it humorous but on the other hand it's also a bit frightening that there is a following. He's also very anti-Catholic.)

Christianity is probably the most proclaimed religion in the United States. However, it is well known that few Christians actually follow Christ. Many "former Christians" have seen or experienced major hypocrites and being hypocritical is just the worst thing you could possibly be. (I'm being over dramatic for effect.) Oh but if you're Catholic...

Catholicism's Bad Name
Being a minority in the U.S., Catholics often seem to have a bit of Puritan influence from Christian neighbors and American culture. There was a generation of very poorly educated Catholics and we are still recovering from that. However on top of that the following things also make Catholics very unpopular in geek culture...
- Pedophile Priests: This event was (by aide of the devil) blown out of proportion. Because our culture is so sexualized that the thought of living a celibate life seems like a punishment. However, it is completely possible. Granted it was a terrible, terrible situation and sweeping things under a rug was bad. Still, it's one of the easier targets to poke fun at.
- Conspiracy: There is a lot of mistrust in this ancient organization. There is a lot of mystery surrounding it and plenty of rumors or legends. Thanks in part to media popular in geek culture it's almost more accepted that the Church is hiding some dark truth and really only has ulterior motives. (Again also fed by the poor reaction to the stray priests).
- Weird Doctrine: Much of our doctrine and practices baffles outsiders. In fact much of it even baffles its own followers. As such it becomes difficult to properly defend a belief or offer a satisfying counter-argument. It also doesn't help that much of the doctrine seems to condemn popular culture's favorite pastimes.

These are just a smattering of ideas and some of these things are not exclusive to Catholics or Christians. Many people make poor judgement of others based on things like a person's sex, ethnicity, or which sport team they support. 

Dealing with Backlash
As a social creature, it is quite possible that we will talk with one another and try to bond. Dealing with a particularly acidic remark must be dealt with in a Christian way so:
- Don't be a dick. I'm sure there's a nicer way to say this but it gets my point across. Don't become like the person who attacked you.
- Study your own faith, question it a bit. If you know the popular arguments against one of your tenants of faith, go back and see if there is a particular document, dogma or Scripture passage against that. Personally I ALWAYS run into trouble dealing with arguments for gay marriage so I constantly go to experts of my faith. There is no shame in sitting on someone's shoulders to get a clearer look at an issue. However, it may not be a good idea to throw these resources at your attacker, it is most likely they already don't agree and it won't change their mind. (You first have to change their heart and only God can do that.)
- Pray about it: You have the advantage of a loving God to talk to. And a myriad of Saints to turn to for intercessions.


Christian Geek, Don't feel Ashamed
Geek culture is largely made up of people who were marginalized in the past. Somehow this has made them very quick to marginalize others as well. It can be a poisonous community of internalized shame to be shared with others. Whenever cornered they want to lash out because they know what its like to feel powerless and its their mind/imagination/intellect that gives them power. In a word only forum of discussion, they have power.

Some other things to keep in mind are:
- Jesus said following him wouldn't make you popular. It kind of paints a BIG target right at you full of history. However our faith isn't about being POPULAR, it's about following Christ. Even if it is the most popular religion in the world, following Christ is still not super popular. Because following Christ means following the Commandments, OBEYING authority, SUBMITTING to God (islam), and dying to self EVERY DAY.

- Atheists are moral people too. In fact some of them follow the LAW in their hearts better than Christians. I had a friend who was agnostic tell me once that she did not like the idea of heaven as a reward for being good. Being good should be its own reward.
It was a view I could certainly respect. But I knew that I myself am a very weak human and I really LIKE the idea of someday getting a prize. (I'm kind of a child that way.) However even St. Paul frames the idea of winning the race for a crown (of thorns).
Atheists and Agnostics are not inherently evil OR wrong.

Conclusion
If you announce your faith in an argument, remember that your faith itself really is not a way to win that argument. (Also most arguments can not be won. Especially online arguments.) Remember if you do proclaim your Christianity your words and "actions" (as if there were actions online...well I guess in online gaming...) will cast a reflection of your faith. Christianity is a community and not just a personalized religion.
Also there is no shame in leaving a community if you feel the atmosphere is poisonous. Nurturing your faith and your relationship with God is far more important than gossiping about the latest trend in video games or comics.

Also, I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend reading C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity.

Peace and have a Happy New Year. (Yes, both Holy Days of Obligation fall on Sunday this year. XD NICE.)

Sharing a Link

I had wanted to write about this but this gentleman's words are much more eloquent than mine:
Dr. Nerdlove's Nerds and Male Privilege

I'll have another article about geek culture next time.

Gaming and Gay Marriage

This topic will be mostly focused on how gay marriage and the gay movement is having an effect on video games. In discussions about this topic, I tend to fumble around with my words so it is most likely this post might contain something you find offensive. So I'll put it out there, I do not support same-sex unions and stand on Church teachings on the matter. Now let's talk about games.

Popular Culture's Influence
You know who benefits from "negative" marketing? Most products, but especially games. They at times thrive on the negative attention they get because at least it's attention. If it upsets someone you do not like then you support it by spreading the word about it. Likewise, those that are upset about it and whine about it also advertise it.

The topic of homosexual encounters in a game's story tend to net positive attention from various groups so it has become appealing. As illustrated here rather eloquently by David Gaider's response to an unhappy fan "Straight Male Gamer". Mr. Gaider makes very valid points against the arguments brought to the table by the original post. However, the point is that the LGBT community is also a MARKET for products. It is a very vocal minority, more so than straight female gamers. The game in question also netted some public controversy thus making the possible homosexual relationship seem like a huge deal.

It is a very valid and seemingly open-minded (read relativist) point of view. The game neither praises nor condemns the morality of...well...any in-game choices. It tolerates. In a way it is a space in which you can project your own morals and see how things play out. I'll have a better article about this style of gameplay on another day.

Romantic Elements in Games
You know what else draws attention to a game? Having romance OPTIONS. For some games they bank on these options to help sell the game. And I'm not thinking only of the big name companies that have stoked the controversy flames for attention. No...I'm talking more about a niche series, Harvest Moon and a few other Japanese titles. Dating sims are a bit more popular across the ocean than they are here. There is a cult following but it's a minority.
A few years back there was a version of Harvest Moon where you could select a female avatar and have a "best friend" ceremony with another female NPC. (There were only 2 characters of supernatural nature that you could perform this with under my understanding.) However, the North American release removed this aspect from the game because well, they knew it would not market here AS WELL to have what looked like a lesbian marriage.

 It's fun to have a choose-your-own adventure type story where you can choose what character gets to be the romantic interest. Why not right? Now what if I want the romantic interest to be the same sex as my character? Does that make it an interesting option to explore or a promotion of a sinful lifestyle?


Marriage vs. Romance Scenes
To better answer that question I would like to discuss what the differences are between marriage and romance options when talking about games.
A romance option can mean two things depending on the intended audience of the game and the game style. In a game marketed to a "Rated T" or "E10", it means someone you date or ultimately becomes your boyfriend/girlfriend. Generally because that intended age is not ready for marriage.
In a game marketed to the "Rated M" or more crowd, romance means you get a sex scene with this character or "mature relationship". Generally because sexual promiscuity is more marketable as fun for a predominantly male audience...and a growing female audience as well.

However, there are a few titles that offer marriage options. That is to say that the goal of the relationship is to net a spouse.

From a Catholic perspective there is a severe lack of positive views of marriage and sexuality in games. It either means nothing or its tacked on as one option out of many. FOR EXAMPLE:
In Dragon Age: Origins you create your main character and can choose their appearance, background, sex and "race". The main character travels with companions which can be interacted with and develop over time. There is only ONE marriage option. It is only for a human female character of noble origins. There are no marriage options for male characters. Which at least to me says: marketing has shown that female players are more interested in marriage than our males who just want a fun fling or a threesome. A majority of our players are not into commitment.

Harvest Moon (a farming simulation game) in the earlier games of the series had a "purpose" for the spouse character. She would perform some of the chores on the farm every so often. In later games the spouse just says nice things to you, brings you a present on your birthday and is required to have the child character. On the other hand, the whole point of romancing a character is to eventually marry and you only get one choice. There is no option to divorce and pick someone else. It treats marriage in a fundamentally traditional way although it's still very superficial on the surface.

In game marriage is fairly common in MMO settings where the gameplay depends on social contact. The setting provides some stat boosts when the characters play together and opens up "couple only" quests unavailable for single players or even groups. This helps not only in-game situations but can help real relationships. Most MMO games restrict that marriage has to be between a female and a male avatar. Unlike single player games, the union is between two players and may represent a real life romance, friendship or marriage.

In almost all cases (MMO's being the exception), romance or marriage restricts focus on a character to a very specific role. It can be the characters defining aspect in the eyes of a player. Games tend to categorize characters into "functional roles" since that is part of game mechanics. It is very easy to see a character as "healer" or "range fighter" instead of a character.

Games influence on our Culture
 Ahh...yes, there is something very important as to why as Catholics we should care about how this is handled in a medium such as games. Art and Stories and Entertainment have a large hand in shaping our conscience and beliefs. This is why propaganda is a powerful weapon. It can dehumanize a group of people in our imagination.. Now, not all media propaganda is so overt, but social pressure influenced by the news, our films, and games makes an individual feel ostracized or attacked for believing or living in a way opposed to what is seen as popular.

There are games that do try and get an honest look at what a homosexual or Same Sex Attracted person struggle with in society without attacking any one belief system. It is usually through a "spokesperson" character in a narrative setting. The best example I know of being Persona4.
However, take that character and make it a romance option changes the perception of that character. It can narrow the view of the character to only be defined by their sexual orientation.
The character wasn't "FOR" you. You have other choices. Suddenly there is an US vs THEM instead of an attempt to open discussion on common ground. The same can be said of any female "option" in a game. Her struggles with society won't be taken seriously if she is also a romance option.  

For example, (I'm sorry I keep using Dragon Age...its just illustrates everything SO easily.) the character Anders from Dragon Age was a party member in one of the expansions. There were no romance options. The character was interpreted as a character of a certain personality and most likely assumed heterosexual.
This changed in Dragon Age II when Anders returns as a romance option. This caused a bit of turbulence since he revealed he was bisexual and open about being in homosexual relationships. The player's view of him changes between the two games because as a romance option we care about his sexuality as a character and it became his defining feature. Instead of thinking about what kind of struggles the character went through the player feels "cheated" because now Anders is flirting with us and we don't know why and our avatar is NOT homosexual at all.
In the end, it caused a lot of discomfort which instead of reflecting on WHY and trying to understand the source it reestablished that dividing line of us and them.  
(Side note: If playing as a female avatar, Anders does NOT talk about being homosexual directly. If you are a  male avatar, he admits it. Really not sure if I should interpret that as he's bisexual only if you play as a male character or not.)

Closing Thoughts
So what's the big deal with gay marriage in games? If marriage and romance is so "cheap" and superficial in games it should not be our concern. Well, to be fair, games have not moved out of the 'entertainment' realm into 'art'. The handling of deep human exploration is basic right now but there is potential to get deeper than what film and literature can provide.

Extra Credits does a good presentation on the state of sexuality in games: http://penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/sex-in-games
I recommend it strongly.
However, that does not change video game's role as an idea shaping medium. The ideals it promotes are usually only a base level that is skewed toward a young, white, male demographic. This may be more worrisome. There is a need for views on intimacy and marriage within games (and other media) that offer more positive situations outside of a character being married in the past or cheapening sex and relationships.

At this point the inclusion of a homosexual romance option strikes me as pandering or marketing without much deeper thought about what marriage or being homosexual actually means. The only thing it does do is "normalize" the idea of same-sex marriage in our imagination. Just as it normalizes the objectification of women, human trafficking, prostitution and solving problems with violence. If you are not confident about your stance on these subjects, it is easy to be influenced by fiction and imagination.

If you don't feel up-to-date on the Church's stance on Gay Marriage, I suggest reading the following articles:
What the Church Teaches about Homosexuality
Catholic Answers: Gay Marriage
How to Make the Case for Marriage (Using Non-religious Language)

Whew...this was a tough one to write.

NCLB: New Perspective

Apologies for the long delay between topics here. I have several that are partially written or outlined but I still need to do my research and/or find examples.

Over the holiday week, (that's U.S. Thanksgiving) I spent some time with my Dad and brother talking about society overall and our various insights on culture. It gave me a bit of perspective on how people view things, argue, and why there is such a need for No Catholic Left Behind that I had never considered.

For a refresher, No Catholic Left Behind or NCLB is my term for programs or items made for adult Catholics with only a child's understanding of the faith. I often express frustration at the presentation of such media that often falls short. However like I mentioned before I learned something interesting during our discussion on why the world is full of great evil but it is so very subtle.

I can not recall where the conversation started, I came in late. Things started with a discussion on the dehumanizing of people in general and its effect on Vatican II. My dad grew up in the 50s and 60s. He recalled that although he went to Catholic school, they real did not really teach religion class. In part thanks to the misunderstanding of the changes that Vatican II brought the new sense that religion is just about a personal relationship with God. Also the cultures "I'm okay, You're okay" mentality played a part of being quiet about your religion. My dad did not have a class on the Sacraments let alone other Church related matters. This lead to a whole generation of Catholics that after Confirmation only had a 5th or 6th grader's understanding of their faith. Which meant they were completely unprepared for that first testing university professor who would question their faith.

Now those youth are parents. And like their parents before them expected Catholic schools to teach the Catholic faith. Especially if the school is connected to a parish. Fortunately, schools are more thorough about teaching more of the faith and Youth Groups do well to keep the faith active in preparation for that first big test. However, many of my peers still have only a middle school level understanding, they were just uninterested in their faith because their parents were uninterested. The wheel turns and a cycle of lukewarm Catholics continues.

But this is where NCLB groups, classes and retreats are popular. The lowest common denominator Catholic is one with only a rudimentary study of the faith coupled with the lack of good parental examples. Catholicism is a faith of Tradition and passing on the Tradition is growing ever more important. Again, I see myself as fortunate. Had my father not been involved in the Charismatic Renewal and just been a stubborn, obedient Catholic I do not think I would have received such a good Catholic Education from him.

There is an importance in setting a family value to Tradition and the teaching of said Traditions. A family should be actively involved in teaching Traditions and teach by example. Schools continue to offer their support in teaching the things that perhaps the parents can not cover because they are not Bible Scholars or experts on Doctrine.

As our conversation went on we talked about how important the Catholic Church is in these current times. It is steadfast in a world of violent change, loose morals, and relativism. It remains as it has for generations a lighthouse in a turbulent ocean of trouble. It has its failings and history, but it cares to preserve that and remember it. It preserves ancient Traditions and will not change its foundations based on popular opinion at the time.

There were many topics we discussed that I hold in my heart but I can not clearly express here. I have not yet found the right words or context for it. There isn't much I can add about games this week but I do have a big topic that is somewhat related to something we talked about. So get ready because I'm going to drop a bomb on Games and Gay Marriage next time.

Peace be with you and also with your spirit. (New Roman Missal time!)
Also, Happy Church New Year. :) It's Advent.

NCLB: How to Find your Soulmate without Losing Your Soul

Yesterday my dad sent me a book on dating that he had heard about on a Catholic news site. He asked me to give it a read and see if it was something my sisters would enjoy. So I started reading it and got through it in one night. That is because well...I started skipping things that did not apply to me personally. I skimmed and skipped quite a lot in this book because it was advice that simply did not apply to me, did not speak to me, or I had heard so often before in Youth Group Chastity talks.

So for me it had points, but the age for which this book is aimed is younger than I am, at least mentally.

Book Summary
The book is co-authored by a husband and wife, Jason and Crystalina Evert. There are 21 chapters with "secrets" and advice for women seeking love. They pull from talks they have given, email stories they have received, various behavior and scientific studies and their own experiences. The emphasis is on instilling virtue in young women when they date offering the Catholic alternative to the secular culture's ideas of love, sex and courting. The advice includes ten "guy" behavior traits to outright avoid to prevent getting hurt. It guides the reader through a process of building self-esteem, setting standards, and what love is suppose to be. There's nothing saccharine about the advice, it's very down to earth and supplemented well with stories from young women they received letters from or spoke to.

Much of the middle of the book is about "healing" and forgiving yourself if you failed to live chaste and want to turn over a new leaf. The authors themselves have admitted their failures many times but reassure the reader that they are not undeserving of love because of it.

The last third of the book is somewhat practical as well as spiritual advice about how to live a pure life. It includes a chapter on dressing modestly, how to break up, and bringing prayer and Christ into your life to help.

The Good Stuff
Some of the studies the book quotes were very interesting and I think will have a strong effect on the point the book sets out to make. Sharing stories from real girls does add a great dimension and context for the message of each chapter. It makes it relative to the reader by putting a personal touch on the chapter's topic.

It's not soaked with reprimands or "should haves", but offers an invitation for change, to raise the bar and practical ways to change your mindset about love and relationships. They save most of the "God Talk" to one or two specific chapters about renewing your spiritual life.

The Bad Stuff
There's not so much bad about the book so much as the fact that a book like this NEEDS to exist. It seems to me that the intended audience is a sexually active or formerly sexually active teenager or young adult. They come from broken homes and lack a good father figure.
That said, it means that the intended audience is a probably someone not very familiar with their faith or in a very bad spot. So for me it was disturbing that there seems to be this epidemic unloved women who have lost faith in true love.

For this reason, the book did not speak to me. I am not the books audience. I'm much older than the intended demographic and have luckily never experienced abuse. However, I have read a secular book meant for older women to regain confidence in dating and finding true love. Many of the secular books points were relatively the same advice but geared toward an older audience and introducing the concept of Affirmation.

Oh and there is one more kind of sour note that I will mention. Because of the intended audience, which seems to be broken young women who are sexually active, it feels like there are no virgins in high school or university. To me it ignored the virgin and made her/him feel like a non-existent entity or a relic of the past. I think I read one or two stories about a girl who was made fun of for her sexual inexperience and one about a woman from the 1940s retelling how she met her husband and virginity was a given. Luckily, much of the advice applies to any woman with low self-esteem. Only the presentation makes me feel like the authors were not writing to me.

Recommendation
I could recommend this book to someone in high school or university who feels in the target demographic. Even older women with a "young girl" mentality or a woman struggling with self-esteem issues. But a little part of me feels sorry that someone needs a book like this, but that is the world we live in.

However, many of the topics within the book come from chastity talks which can come off as condescending if you are living a chaste life. I recall those talks in high school and already knowing that I was doing good. And that may have fostered some form of arrogance in me and often I recall thinking like the proud Pharisee proclaiming to God "Look I'm not like that slut crying over there. I've stayed pure and chaste. Reward me!" Only to be reminded that like the Elder brother in the story of the Prodigal Son, "You are always with me. You have everything."

Basically as Jesus said, "It is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Mark 2:17)
(Still, reassurance is nice every once in awhile. It's important for virgins to find role models and pray for strength from St. Joseph, St. Raphael and the Virgin Mary. And if you're feeling tempted, St. Mary Magdalene knows how you feel.)

For my sisters, I think they might enjoy parts of the book as I did, but we are VERY lucky to have a loving father who has remained faithful to mother for nearly 30 years now. We know what marriage and love looks like, we have the good example.
For me, it just encouraged me to return to some advice I got from the other marriage advice book about Affirmation but coupled more strongly to prayer.

Last Note
There were a couple of points where I wanted to punch the book in the face for talking down guys that play video games need to grow up. This may be a reflection on the industry but its still "common knowledge" that games are for children...despite us having games rated M for mature. But that is a rant for another day and done better by someone else.
Wow, I managed to tie games into this somehow. YES. Mission Accomplished.

Faith, Fun and Feminism

Intro
Recently, some hot button feminist issues have cropped up in my everyday internet romps. Feminist and Feminism is usually met with antagonistic response and anger...even violence. It is to the point where even a woman who is feminist does not want to be label as one. For me, I know I do not like being labeled with a negative term like 'feminazi' or 'feminist'. However, my reasoning is in part that I do not wish to be associated with what the word has come to mean.

Feminist 
Most of our concept of what a feminist should be or what she is comes from popular media. A feminist is usually portrayed as angry, violent, liberal, and male hating. But this really only captures a fraction of feminists. Not everyone is angry, BUT we are NOT satisfied and want to change things to something that will satisfy. We don't hate men, BUT men are at fault because of their position of privilege in society.
So the facets of equality in government and recognition of my human dignity regardless of my sex and gender are the parts of feminism I support.

But I'm not "liberal" politically and I am Christian. Oh and not only Christian, but Catholic. So this puts me in a conundrum. Currently Catholics are one of the only churches that will not recognize women priests. I accept the Churches teachings on this. Because it's not a matter of JOB equality it is a matter of Sexual Differences. For a more intelligent discussion on this point, I will refer you to Peter Kreeft's lecture on Priestesses.

I am also pro-life, pro-Traditional Marriage, and pro-Catholic/Christian.
At this point, I feel that if I declare myself as a feminist I am denouncing my identity as a Catholic woman...and a gamer.

Feminism is all about Sex
There's some clever word play at hand here. Sex, in our modern society, can mean both the biological sex of a person AND the act of intercourse. I'm very tempted to link another Peter Kreeft lecture because he explains things so well, but I will summarize instead: Sex has become not something you are, but something you do.
In my view Feminists tend to be a lot more inclined to the latter definition of sex than the first. I'm talking about the Sexual Revolution, how we as a society have separated the act of intercourse with procreation.

That's why this picture is funny.
Sex is suppose to be someone you are. Being sexual doesn't mean being "sexy", it means being male or being female.

Our culture is one addicted to pleasure and the highest form of pleasure is sex. So with the new "sexually liberated woman" now able to take that pleasure without risk, suddenly pregnancy becomes a disease or an accident or a side effect of sex. The pleasure and self-pleasing is more important and trying to tell someone that they're hurting themselves by thinking this way, they get defensive.

Why this Ties into Games
Right this has a play in video games in a BIG way. When it comes to in-game content, feminists have every right to be upset. Women have every right to be upset. There are lots of parallels between the arguments thrown at "feminist gamers" and the defense of "our fun".

First off, feminist gamers are not some stereotyped feminist just because they are unhappy with the state of the industry. As consumers of entertainment women have just as much purchasing power as a man. I want to consume game entertainment but marketing, content and other unfriendly atmospheres make it difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. It won't prevent new hyper-masculine games from being produced but we'd like our chick games too...and not pink either.

Second off, women are all individuals with different tastes, JUST like any other human. This means the feminists too. As I explain, I do NOT stand by many of the principles liberal feminists and popular feminists stand for. I support women's health with the radical idea that pregnancy is not a disease and that our sexual appetites are out of control. That said, with the wide array of game genres there are some that just are not going to appeal to the feminine mind in the same way it does for the masculine mind. But this is not a BAD thing. It's an interesting challenge in design.

There are a landslide of studies on the differences between male and female brains that are quite insightful for a game designer. Particularly when faced with HOW to solve a problem or puzzle.
As a female gamer, I do not feel social shame with looking up "cheats" or walkthroughs if I'm stuck. The information in the walkthrough is like a cooperation with an experienced player and I can move on through the game without the frustration of trial and error.
To many gamers, stooping to a walkthrough shows weakness unless the game IS really hard...and poorly designed.

Third off, interacting between men and women is different than interacting with someone of your own sex. Again with the literal biological brain differences. Females are able to pick up a LOT of cues from non-verbal communication and start to find extra meaning. Male brains will usually take things at face value.
(Thus much misconception around the idea of if we like each other or not.)
In some ways, you CAN say things to gamer girls like you would say them to gamer guys. We want to be one of the guys but at the same time recognized that we are in fact female. It's a conundrum. You really have to go with getting to know the individual first before you learn their comfort level for trash talking. We also don't want to be treated as a novelty. "OMG...a girl...PLAYING VIDEO GAMES?"
It's 2011.

Last off, improving as a player in a game takes time and practice. In general, trash talking will rile up a male player and competition will encourage him to try harder. Threats of sexual assault, violence and name calling are only things that will drive a female player away. It's not because she does not have the potential to kick your ass or play as good as one of the guys, but a female's reaction to hostility is to flee. We are the traditionally weaker sex. (Please notes that there are always exceptions to this. Many women THRIVE on competition.)

So how are women to practice games with others an improve? Certainly not by participating in a tournament where a poor performance will earn nothing but mockery. She won't try again. Some conferences are out there trying to get women comfortable with playing video games and getting better at it. Usually in all female groups. Which only serves to continue the segregation between the sexes in video games.

Conclusion
Feminism is never a real pleasant topic for anyone. There are a lot of hurt feelings, hurt people, and misunderstanding in both parties. Heck, even I get annoyed at feminists and feminism. But not True Feminists who respect and support women's human dignity. We don't want to be the same as men, equality doesn't mean the same.

I am a feminist, Catholic, Pro-Life woman and a gamer.

Gaming Communities

Intro
When we build a community together, it should be based on mutual respect and a shared passion. Why is it that gaming and gamer communities seem so hostile? Why do they exclude potential game enthusiasts? Personally, I always feel extra wary about joining a gamer forum space more than other interests. It's strange to me because any other interest of mine: art, horses, religion etc I could find an online community and feel totally open to joining. Sure you have that "new guy" smell about you for awhile as you find your place, but eventually you settle.
Let's take a look first at the very nature of online communities.

Anonymity and Freedom
As much as my hipster soul despises their ungodly popularity...Penny Arcade makes a very valid point about Anonymity.
http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19
The anonymity of the internet allows you as a user to invent a representation. You are FREE to do what ever you want. You can pound on piano keys and make noise, it will make some other person laugh and applaud or call you a genius. It takes away social repercussions. When not faced with an actual human face it feels less like interacting with another person. You are really interacting with a machine and a wall of text.
However this illusion of freedom is a TRAP. (Insert 'its a trap' joke here.)

It seems at least to me that part of the reason for this animalistic  behavior is because social pressures do take a lot out of us. A person may feel a lot of stress performing like a social person and behaving as expected. However, put on a mask and suddenly you are whatever you want to be. In a sense we can hide our own humanity by going online. We would type things that we would never say to anyone's face unless we were bold enough to ignore certain social expectations.

On the positive end, it allows a person to explore possibilities in a "safe" environment. For a personal example, I use to think that a person just needed to tell someone about Jesus and the Church and they would magically convert. Online, I used to speak my mind about this without regard to the other person's feelings or faith. If they did not fit into the cookie cutter shape I thought a good Catholic was then they needed preaching to. Yeah I lost a lot of friends online after that. However, I came to a profound realization that 14 year old me NEEDED to know. And I grew from it. As an anonymous user, I could say all these preachy things however, I was too shy in reality to talk to most people about religion.



The "Real Me":
I was reading someone's personal story on a forum about how online gaming helped him discover his 'real self' or who he really was...a girl. (I'll leave my gender identity rant for another day.) And I know that road because I've walked it myself, thinking that the "real me" is the one I show online because I can be more opinionated and honest without repercussions.  In a way, this can be a method of affirmation for a person. To set a goal or a plan or a role model to aspire to is a good thing to do...that is if the role model is a good person.

However, as a mature person, I know that the "online me" or any avatars I put out is not the 'real me'. Only God knows my True Nature. I am not certain of this inconsistent person called "me".
Instead of saying that my online persona is the "real me", I can say that sometimes it's a way to put for my honest thoughts. For example, what I'm typing here would probably never really come up in conversation and if it did would be drastically more convoluted and unclear as I attempted to gather my thoughts in mere seconds instead of the several hours it will take to actually finish writing this whole post.

The desire to find your true self is a lifelong mystery. But you won't find it by exploring an online persona.

Geek Culture: Introspective
 There are many things I admire about geek culture as it begins to dominate our culture. But I also recognize its darker side. Perhaps it comes from the "bullied" pasts or the "rejection" from others but geeks tend to be all about revenge. On one hand, being a black sheep gives a sense of being original and unique. However, it is easy to reject others because they don't fit in with the other black sheep.

Sometimes I tend to find geek culture very exclusive as it struggles to hold down its identity. This leads to hostility towards "outsiders".

Niche: Cultures within Culture
As gamers age and start raising families they find that their interaction with games has changed. That the people they used to play with are not really the kind of people they like to associate with anymore. So what happens? The community splinters a bit into categories of young and old.
However, on the surface (this refers to site design) the communities look the same. Older gamers do not want to lose their identity as a gamer just because they have aged.

The gamer club is very exclusive. While members may not be outright hostile, there can be a strong sense of "I don't belong" from a new member. If efforts aren't made by a community to make a new member find their place among them then new blood will be poured in less frequently.

For larger communities, it is important to have areas that provide niches for people to settle into.


Conclusion
Time to wrap up these thoughts. They are not very profound and are mostly observation based. There is very little I can offer to change the nature of a gamer community or forum. There are some visual design choices that would help make a community seem more "open". Black and Yellow, metal colors or web colors do not provide good atmosphere or branding. (Black and Yellow are warning colors that tell you to "stay away".) Having the community moderated by mature individuals helps as well.

Overall, the close-minded mentality should open up. There are some niche hobbies that are far more open minded and welcoming to new comers than gaming. A year ago I was very interested in Asian Ball Jointed Dolls. (I have a few.) The community was very supportive of new comers to the hobby and those who were curious. They know the hobby isn't for everyone but they won't hate you if you're not interested. They also don't mock you for not knowing something about the hobby. There is a sense of patience that I think the gaming community would do well to adopt.

Video Games should be for people of all ages and walks of life. Communities should reflect this openness.